Let go of the idea that conflict is destructive. Productive tensions can improve your ideas, plans, and overall team performance.
Research studies on tensions are, paradoxically, full of tensions too.
Many studies suggest that conflict interferes with team performance. Others that it doesn’t. My point is simpler: it’s not the tensions, but how we address them, that make or break a team.
Disagreement is a major conduit for learning. Discussing tensions can help team members better understand other’s perspectives. And realize that what feels meaningless to one person, can be critical to another.
Couples with poor conflict resolution skills typically engage in Fight, Flight, or Freeze behaviors. Those who’ve learned to overcome tensions, last the longest.
The same applies to successful teams.
When conflict is absent, teams lose awareness of what can be improved.
Tensions are like water. If you don’t provide a space to address them, tensions will find a way out. 25% of employees said that avoiding conflict led to sickness or absence from work.
Don’t fear tensions, face them.
By addressing tensions systematically your team will:
understand different perspectives (learning)
bounce back from difficult situations (resilience)
appreciate those who think differently (tolerance)
recognize what others members bring to the table (collaboration)
The different types of tensions
“Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.” — Mahatma Gandhi
Not all tensions come in the same shape or form.
Before we discuss how to deal with tensions, we need to understand the different types that manifest at work.
Task versus Interpersonal tensions:
Task conflicts are created by disagreement about the work to be done. A different approach to solving a problem or solutions drive tensions.
Interpersonal conflicts are disagreements based on personal issues due to the relationship between team members. It’s more personal. It’s perceived as an “attack” or “threat”.
It gets worse over time. 60–80% of all difficulties in organizations stem from relationship conflicts between employees, not from deficits in skill or motivation.
Clearly, even the most objective problem-solving or decision making processes get filtered by our emotions.
Tensions are part of every human relationship. We see the world differently, we feel differently, even when facing the same experience.