BA BY
Milestones
–
what’s all the fuss about?
By Dr Melodie de Jager
“My baby walked at 9 months” and “My baby talked at 12 months”, “My baby uses our
iPad” and “My baby can build a 9-piece puzzle at 15 months” are conversations that leave
many a mom feeling incompetent and silently doubting her own baby’s intelligence when
she compares her gurgling toddler with these performing geniuses.
But what is all the fuss about? Is
your baby missing out, slow or
even deprived if you cannot share
a similar accomplishment? The
pressure to perform is nothing
new, but it may be wise to question
our attitude to early milestone
performances. Yes it is wonderful
when a baby can walk, talk and, in
time, build puzzles, but reaching a
milestone should not be the focus.
The focus should rather be on baby
developing at his own pace within
the guidelines for each milestone.
Milestones are beacons that show
a baby’s developmental progress.
Milestones are not baby IQ tests
where the faster your baby speeds
past each milestone, the more
intelligent he is. Milestones show
progress. Each says, “Look mom
and dad, I am unfolding according
to my innate blueprint – one
milestone at a time”.
What is absolutely amazing is that
developmental milestones unfold
in the exact same way all over the
world for both baby boys and girls,
if they are given the opportunity to
move and explore.
We often don’t think about it, but
babies don’t read books on baby
development, they have no idea
what is expected of them at a
certain age and they don’t perform
to please. Given the ideal
circumstances, they simply
unfold as though following a
magical recipe.
Nature takes care of its own, and
for that reason babies have an
inbuilt development programme at
birth – a series of primitive reflexes
to prompt the development of
the brain and body. Each primitive
reflex is responsible for plugging
a specific body part into a specific
part of the brain and, to make this
happen, a baby needs to make
certain movements over and
over again.
For example, if you put your finger
in the palm of a baby’s hand the
fingers will reflexively curl around
your finger giving the muscles in
the hand practice to be ready to
voluntarily pick up things a few
months later. Similarly, you’ll notice
that when you massage the palm
while baby is feeding he will
reflexively suckle stronger.
Once a body part is
plugged into the
correct part of the
brain, the brain
starts using that
part more often and
that is why babies make
the same movements for
weeks on end. Making the same
movements strengthens the wiring
to develop the brain. Once baby has
done the same movement enough
times to ensure that the brain’s
wiring is very strong, these reflexive
movements go to rest, and then
baby reaches a milestone.
A milestone shows that a part of
the brain has just been wired and is
ready to be used.
Milestones are magical moments
that need to be photographed and
celebrated with the exact same
enthusiasm as receiving a degree
cum laude, because reaching a
milestone is as difficult for a baby as
getting a degree is for a student. It
requires time and effort, and many
failed attempts, before it finally
comes together.