IN THE SPOTLIGHT
Busi’s story was first published in Recognising Postnatal Depression
(Penguin) in 2012. We recently caught up with Busi to find out how
she and her little girl are doing.
MamaMagic Milestones (MMM): On receiving a diagnosis
of Postnatal Depression (PND), what were the steps you
needed to take to overcome it?
Busi: The first thing was to actually have a long awaited bath!
On my own, without my newborn baby there! Oh my goodness,
I will never forget that bath, it was such an AHA moment for
me. I wept for hours, the water got cold and I kept having to top
up. Mostly these were tears of relief that I had been diagnosed,
that I was not a freak of nature, and that I would be alright and
that my child would be alright. The mental scars remain with me
even now, but the realisation that Warona would never remember
the incident was proof to me that God is indeed alive.
MMM: How long did this take, to get better and feel like
you were happy and to start enjoying being a mother?
Busi: I Can’t say that I enjoyed being a mother immediately...
Even once I started on my medication, I was still hugely afraid afraid of myself and afraid of the baby and afraid for her. I think
I started being more comfortable 2 or 3 months after I started
taking medication. Getting better took time, but the most
important first step was recognising the disease and accepting
it, and becoming vocal about it so that no one else went
without the information that they required. I’m an amazing
mum now - I know this because my child is a well-rounded
flourishing, beautiful child. Even as a single mum juggling
corporate and family life, I am no longer overwhelmed.
MMM: What was the hardest part of overcoming PND?
Busi: The hardest part is ridding yourself of the fear that
consumes you. Then it is to try and make sure that your
nearest and dearest are in full understanding of what you are
going through and their role in assisting you. It is difficult as a
black woman to get this from family. Culturally, no matter how
advanced we are, mental diseases are not something that are
easily accepted - thus making it hard to get the support that is
required. It was literally a point of having to sit people down to
make them understand, and to let family read articles and align
themselves with what was taking place, and the fact that it is a
long-term journey.
If you fear that you or someone you know may be struggling with
PND, please seek medical help immediately. The sooner you treat
it, the better. Contact your GP, obstetrician or paediatrician. Once
diagnosed, we recommend you seek the support that Busi so
strongly recommends.
The PostNatal Depression Support Association (PNDSA) can assist
with support for both the sufferers and their family while on their
road to recovery. PNDSA is a non-profit organisation started by
women who have recovered from PND. For more information,
please visit www.pndsa.org.za.
MMM: And what helped get you through it?
Busi: Speakin g out about it, writing articles, being interviewed,
being the face of black women who is ok with people knowing
that this illness exists. Not running away from the stigma, but
facing it head on. My neighbours, Johan and Louise Botes,
saved me and saved my child from this - their continuous
support and love even after diagnosis honestly got us through
the rough patches of the first few months. It is critical to be
armed with information, and to be surrounded by massive
amounts of support.
MMM: How is your relationship with your daughter today?
Busi: Miss Warona is my princess! Whilst I don’t want to ever
blur the lines between mum and friend, she and I are as close
as thieves. I love her beyond the bottom of my heart, and the
beauty about it is that she is an angel - a spiritual being that has
been put on this earth to assist and guide, the ultimate gift from
God. We laugh so much that we cry. We are honest with each
other and we are each other’s keeper.
MMM: What encouragement would you give to other
mothers suffering from PND?
Busi: Once diagnosed, it is critical to surround yourself with
people that not only understand you but people that can
provide assistance - emotionally, physically, etc. It’s important
to know that time out and time for yourself can only make one
a better version of yourself. Whilst we strive to be magic mums,
the best way to deliver that is to make sure that you are in touch
with YOU. PND can be overcome. There is so much light at the
end of that horribly dark tunnel and there are people, like
myself, who are happy to speak and give support.
Recognising Postnatal
Depression (Penguin) was
written by journalist Paula
Levin, clinical psychologist
Zahava Aarons, and
Doctor Andy Taub-Da Costa.
They contribute their own
personal experience and
expertise in the area of PND
and explain just what this
illness is, how to recognise it
and the best ways to achieve
recovery of body, mind and
spirit. Available at all good
book stores.