Governance
Using TALK Model In Leadership
By Prof. Kellen Kiambati
Almost every leader out there has heard about Martin Luther King Jr.’ s, Dr. King, Ronald Reagan, and Barack Obama and I am sure we all agree the primary commonality between them is that they are all outstanding orators and also they mastered the ability to communicate with empathy. But what is to be an empathic leader? To be an empathetic leader, is to express genuine curiosity about the people you work with and take a personal interest in their lives, which helps to build stronger relationships. Real leadership is not about control. It’ s about communication that builds trust and drives growth by handling tough conversations with empathy and purpose. There is need for leaders to be consciously aware of the fact that the words they speak do not just motivate teams, they rewire brains and it’ s called the Pygmalion Effect. A psychological phenomenon where people perform better simply because someone believes they can. When a leader says“ I believe in you,” the team member’ s brain does not just hear encouragement it rewires neural pathways, builds confidence and creates possibility. The opposite is equally powerful as doubts expressed become a ceiling, harsh criticism becomes a wound and every“ you should know this” creates isolation.
Research has shown that people speak of sixteen thousand( 16,000) words a day yet only one( 1) in four( 4) professionals feel confident leading meaningful conversations. This is because of the assumption that communication is innate yet it is a skill that should be learnt in order to ensure dialogues are impactful. Conversation is meant to be both strategic and an opportunity for connection. As Alison Wood Brooks on HBR states in her IdeaCast on the science of conversation and the art of being ourselves, conversation is not merely about personality, it is a coordination challenge, where we continuously make hundreds of microdecisions, like choosing topics, asking questions, and adjusting tone. Borrowing from her argument, better conversations promote stronger relationships, greater understanding, and even more effective leadership since difficult workplace conversations are more likely to succeed when shaped by emotional awareness and respectful engagement.
Talk framework is one impactful approach to ensure leaders have meaningful conversations with the people they lead. It stands for:
T- Topic: Be intentional. Prepare, and learn to switch gracefully.
A- Ask: Especially follow-up questions so as to build trust.
L- Levity: Humor, warmth, and lightness create connection.
K- Kindness: Active listening is the highest form of respect.
It begins with Topic. Great conversations are often preceded by forethought. Preparing ahead and being intentional about what to say and how to transition between topics ensures smoother, more engaging dialogue. This step sets the tone and direction, helping participants feel guided rather than lost.
The second step is Ask with emphasis on follow-up questions. These show genuine curiosity and care, and they’ re essential in building trust and deepening the interaction. Asking thoughtful questions isn’ t just about collecting answers it’ s about showing people that they matter.
Levity adds the human touch. Humor, lightness, and even simple compliments breathe life into our words. Levity disarms, engages, and keeps the tone constructive even during serious discussions. It makes conversations not only productive but enjoyable.
Kindness is the foundation of emotional resonance. True listening is not passive; it’ s an active process involving presence, empathy, and affirmation. It’ s about listening to understand not just to reply. When people feel heard, they feel valued.
In conclusion, by leaders applying TALK, they can reshape the way they connect. Whether in leadership, friendship, teaching, or teamwork, these principles help to demonstrate leaders are more fully involved in bringing others along with authenticity and impact. It can be used as a cheat code for building trust and meaningful connections because it breaks communication down into something we can actively practice and improve.
Consistently, leaders must remember active listening is the most overlooked yet powerful communication skill. Communication is a valuable skill we can all improve, with practice, every conversation can be a chance to grow and refine our leadership skills. Effective conversations do not just happen by accident they are shaped by preparation, intention, and emotional intelligence and micro-coordination guided by TALK as the heart of authentic and successful conversation.
Prof. Kellen Kiambati holds a BA- HRM from Kenyatta University, MBA from the Kenya Methodist University and a PhD in Business Administration with a focus in Strategic Management from JKUAT. She is a member of the Institute of Human Resource Management of Kenya. She can be reached via: Kellenkiambati @ gmail. com.
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