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offices . He said , “ The candidate had only been there for a few minutes , and he was sitting quietly on the couch . That told me right away that he probably didn ’ t have the C-Suite mindset - the confidence needed to operate at the level the job required .

CEO candidates don ’ t sit and wait - they stand . That way , when you walk in to pick them up and take them back to your office , they are not in an inferior or supplicant position . Most of them do this without even thinking about it . When I walk out and they are standing , the relationship starts on a peer level .” Trivial ? Not at all . Clients look at these subtle behavioural clues and make judgments very rapidly . Here are some of the behaviours you need to manifest if you want to establish senior-level , peer client relationships :

A willingness to challenge your client . I call this “ selfless independence ” in my book Clients For Life . A division president at a major bank once told me , “ I divide all the advisors I use into two groups : Those who simply do what I say , and those who will push back and sometimes say ‘ No .’ A few of these latter individuals are my trusted advisors . The others are really suppliers .” Remember , if you ’ re concerned about coming across as too challenging , try turning your statements into questions . Instead of “ I don ’ t think your team is collaborating very well ” try “ How do you feel about the collaboration within your team ?” You ’ ll create more buy-in that way . An attitude that establishes equality . If you keep thanking your client , over and over

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Are you learning enough about your client ’ s actual business to be able to make incisive observations about potential improvements ? Are you working hard to see knowledge connections and possible analogies from related fields ? again , for “ taking so much of their valuable time to meet with you ,” what does that convey ? Better would be , “ I ’ m delighted we were able to meet today . Thank you .”

Confident body language . In an interview for one of my books , a CEO told me , “ If you walk into a client ’ s office with your head held high , there ’ s always the chance that you ’ ll get knocked down a notch . That ’ s a small risk . But if you go in on your knees , no client will ever , ever lift you up .” If you are anxious or nervous when you meet with a senior client , or if your body language betrays anything less than a belief that you belong in the room with that executive , it ’ s unlikely you ’ ll be viewed as a peer .

Showing courage . Do you fold your tent at the slightest provocation , or do you hold your ground ? What if a prospect is acting bored and unengaged , and basically sending the message that they have no interest whatsoever in talking to you . You might ask , “ I ’ m curious , why did you accept the invitation to meet up ? Did you have a particular issue in mind for our discussion ?” Or , “ We ’ ve got another 20 minutes scheduled for our meeting this morning . How can I be helpful to you during this time ?” If a prospect tells you , “ We have no need for what you do . There ’ s not a lot to talk about right now ” you might respond with “ You ’ d be surprised how many of my best clients today told me that when we first met . Do you mind if I ask you a question …?”

# Values

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Senior executives in particular will look for a peer advisor who has in-depth expertise and knowledge breadth . They want someone who understands the interrelationships between different parts of their business - someone who has an enterprise-wide perspective .

If a client is hiring a vendor to merely do a one-off job and then get out of the way , they won ’ t be hugely concerned with that suppliers ’ value system . Yes , they will want someone with integrity and honesty , who treats people well , and so on . But fundamentally it ’ s a relatively arm ’ s-length relationship .

In contrast , if an executive is drawing someone into their inner circle , they are going to be looking for serious alignment of values and beliefs . These go well beyond the basics of integrity - they might include a client ’ s sense of your : authenticity ; ambition ; outlook ( optimistic ? pessimistic ?); risk propensity ; action bias ; relationship orientation , and so on .

You cannot manufacture a set of values and beliefs to match those of your client . But you can be open about what you stand for and what ’ s important to you . You want your clients to sense these things and be attracted to them .

The chemistry and fit won ’ t always be there , but if you ’ re overly buttoned down and keep your cards too close to your chest , your clients won ’ t even get the chance to know you . And , you ’ ll come across as anodyne and bland .

In Conclusion

Finally , you have to believe you are a peer . You have to believe you belong in your top client ’ s corner office . You must possess a strong sense of your own value and your ability to help your clients improve and grow their business . That deep belief in yourself and what you have to offer will by itself go very far towards creating the peer relationship you desire .

Dr . Clifford J . Ferguson is the Managing Partner of Rainmakers , and Board Member of Glad ’ s House Kenya . You can commune with him on this or related matters via email at : Drcliffordjferguson @ me . com .