Mastering interpersonal skills is a lifelong journey . The more you intentionally and genuinely practice them , the more they will become part of you , and the greater the success you will achieve , creating greater harmony and productivity and ultimately enriching your life .
person , which starts with having a genuine interest in people and choosing to notice them more , and consistently and nonmanipulatively relate positively and courteously , while remaining assertive . Social skills involve you being a decent , wholesome person , who extends respect and courtesy to all , regardless of age , race , background , ethnicity or station in life . It also includes the ability to build rapport , trust , and respect with humility . Be quietly confident about your accomplishments and make room for others to shine rather than demanding that the spotlight always be on you .
Considerate Actions
It has been said that manners make the man , and good interpersonal skills go hand in hand with considerate actions or good manners . Bad manners put off people and communicate lack of care , while good manners attract people , and build positive relationships .
Do you keep people waiting without explaining ? Do you delay to respond to communication from clients and team members ? Do you ask team members to work late without prior notice and without consideration for their feelings ? Do you neglect to thank people for services rendered , even if you are paying for the service ? Do you rudely demand services instead of making requests ? Good manners and a considerate attitude will go a long way in enhancing your interpersonal skills and building positive relations with people .
Positive Clear Communication
Good interpersonal skills are developed through clarity about what you want and how you communicate it . In addition to the active listening described above , this includes being able to articulate your thoughts and ideas clearly , which fosters understanding , and facilitates co-operation . It also involves asking for what you want in a way that builds , rather than destroys the relationship , which includes remaining calm , and speaking in a clear , non-attacking manner , no matter how aggressive or unpleasant the other person may be .
This applies to both verbal and non-verbal communication - what you say and how you say it , including your words , tone , and body language . Keep your body language , facial expressions and tone of voice positive and
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Mastering interpersonal skills is a lifelong journey . The more you intentionally and genuinely practice them , the more they will become part of you , and the greater the success you will achieve , creating greater harmony and productivity and ultimately enriching your life .
aligned with your intended message and convey openness , respect and attentiveness . Doing so will attract respect and give you the reputation of being level-headed .
Saying No Well
Sometimes you need to say no and good interpersonal skills indicate that you say ‘ No ’ in a way that preserves rather than destroys the relationship . Out of fear you could give in and agree to what is being requested of you , which leaves you feeling controlled or resentful , or you could say ‘ No ’ aggressively , which could lead to the other person feeling bulldozed and disrespected . The best option is to say ‘ No ’ assertively , in a way that validates the other person ’ s needs and wants while setting and maintaining clear boundaries . Being assertive builds and preserves relationships , and validates others .
Handling Conflict
Even the best of relationships go through rough patches . When this happens , be clear about your position and maintain wholesome values . Strong interpersonal skills help us better navigate conflicts and disagreements , to mediate conflicts , and find mutually beneficial resolutions . Be at peace with everyone , and avoid causing conflict through your attitude , words or actions . You can ’ t change how people relate to you , but you can influence their reactions by how you manage yourself . When conflict arises , remain calm , and be clear about your and the other person ’ s interests , concerns and fears , and navigate the conflict by genuinely listening , and going for win-win outcomes , rather than being right .
Emotions often run high in conflict . Manage your emotions and promote open and honest dialogue . Demonstrate wisdom and maturity , focusing on maintaining relationships for the long term . Always strive to repair and reconcile , and know when it ’ s time to walk away from irreconcilable relationships where your desire for an amicable , mutually satisfactory settlement is not reciprocated . Regardless of the outcome , learn and grow from every conflict .
Grow and Keep Learning
Strive to have positive relationships with everyone . Good interpersonal skills allow us to build trust , forge genuine connections , and maintain healthy personal and professional relationships . Consciously and consistently practice the tips shared in this article to improve your interpersonal skills and interactions with others .
Set manageable goals and track your progress , and learn from your successes and challenges . Seek feedback from trusted colleagues , friends and family , and use it to improve further . Be kind to yourself and don ’ t judge yourself too harshly .
American poet and writer , Maya Angelou said , ‘ People will forget what you said , people will forget what you did , but people will never forget how you made them feel .’ Mastering interpersonal skills is a lifelong journey . The more you intentionally and genuinely practice them , the more they will become part of you , and the greater the success you will achieve , creating greater harmony and productivity and ultimately enriching your life .
Caroline Nyamwaya Mwazi is Director and Chief Change Catalyst of Huru Consult Limited , a Nairobi-based management and training consulting company . She can be reached via email on : CMwazi @ gmail . com or LinkedIn Caroline Nyamwaya Mwazi .