WELLNESS
Navigating Teenage Sexuality
By Emma Ngutu
When you become a parent , your life is no longer about you . It ’ s going to be also about your children ; for at least the next 18 or so . That means that most things you do from this point forward need to be done with your child in mind . If you have a teenager , that means dealing with their evolving sexuality and how that affects them .
As parents , we want the best for our children . We want them to have a safe future and make great friendships and partnerships . That said , teenage can be a very confusing time . It can be about amorous feelings and indeed sexuality . There is that crush and fumbling first kiss . Contemporary teens , however , are navigating the process in a much more liberal environment . The internet has opened up a whole new world of information for young people that previous generations did not have . Today ’ s teenagers are much more informed about sex , contraception , sexually transmitted infectionss ( STIs ) and other related topics than any previous generation . Whether this initiated sexual training is a good or bad thing , is still a big debate .
The reality is that your teenager ’ s hormones are all over the place , he or she is trying to figure it out . It is a difficult phase that your teen is going through , and this can often lead them to venture into experimenting with new experiences .
When your teen is in their pre-adult years , it can be challenging to help them navigate the emerging changes in their life . As a parent , you want to give them enough space to grow while keeping tabs on what they ’ re doing with their lives . It ’ s a delicate balance . Afterall , you don ’ t want to smother them and limit their natural progress towards independence but at the same time , you don ’ t want them to take risks that are associated with risky sexual behaviors . How much information do you share with your teen about sex ? Are they ready for it ? These are some of the questions that may pop up in your mind when talking about sexuality in teenagers .
These suggestions will help you understand what is going on in your teenager ’ s body when they think about sex and relationships . It will also help you identify areas where they might need support or guidance from you .
Try to understand their point of view
The teenage brains that make decisions about relationships and sex are fully formed . They have real desires . While these urges may be intense , they do not mean that your child has bad intentions . They do not necessarily mean that your child wants to engage in sex any time soon . It ’ s quite likely that they just want to talk about it , think about it , and explore
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Being open to your child ’ s sexual interests can help you to understand their point of view . This can reduce the chances of an explosive “ battle of the wills ” when you try to set boundaries about their access to information about sex . what they are feeling . Being open to your child ’ s sexual interests can help you to understand their point of view . This can reduce the chances of an explosive “ battle of the wills ” when you try to set boundaries about their access to information about sex .
Don ’ t judge or interrogate
Teenagers are very sensitive to being judged or interrogated about their sexual thoughts and activities . If they have already opened up to you a little bit about what they are feeling and thinking , don ’ t use this information against them . Instead , try to create a safe space where they don ’ t feel like they have to hide anything from you . If they have opted to keep their thoughts and feelings private , respect that , and make it clear that you don ’ t want them to feel like they have to come clean to you . If they do open up to you , try to avoid the temptation to interrogate them or use what they tell you to judge or shame them . Ask non-judgmental questions , and listen empathically without interrupting them or trying to redirect the conversation .
Watch for danger signs
You may be exasperated by the thoughts that your child is obsessed with sex , but they aren ’ t doing it to annoy you . When your teen thinks about sex , they aren ’ t just thinking about their own bodies , they are also deeply interested in other people ’ s bodies , relationships , and what all of this means . They are thinking about their peers and the people they are interested in . They are thinking about the adult world they are approaching and what they will be expected to do once they get there . They are thinking about all the ways that their bodies are changing , and what these changes might mean about who they are .
They are also thinking about how to meet
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