MAL43:21 | Page 96

LAST WORD
LAST WORD

On Selective Understanding

Living in the suburbs is of course one of the dreams that any well to do Kenyan strives for but Ochieng was still chuckling and amused by the request that his new neighbor Kamau has just made . Kamau had respectfully asked Ochieng to remove the ‘ Mbwa Kali ’ sign prominently displayed on his gate .

Kamau informed him that he took security very seriously and as soon as he moved into the area he had surveyed his new neighborhood and in the interest of beefing up security in the area it was advisable for Ochieng to pull down his Mbwa Kali sign .
This intrigued Ochieng as he remembered seeing a trending post that had listed several things that never impress or scare Kenyans and Mbwa kali sign was one of them . But it was Kamau ’ s explanation that was thoroughly amusing Ochieng and made him realize that Kenyans are a special breed .
According to Kamau the reason that you don ’ t put up an Mbwa Kali sign is that the minute you put it up you are announcing to the world that your house has something of value to be protected . Why put up a sign for potential thugs to zero on .
Apparently all thugs know that no Kenyan will spend money to train a dog and the sign is a wishful thought that it would scare potential thugs . Kamau also reminded Ochieng that the sign was a colonial hangover when the former masters had about thirty marauding beasts in their compound .
Truly dangerous dogs are expensive to keep and handle and are an ever present danger to their family and friends . No right thinking Kenyan would compromise the safety of his family by keeping ferocious dogs that would threaten his quality of life .
This sign is equally ignored by Kenyans in the same measure that ‘ Trespassers will be electrocuted ’ sign is ignored . It is an ego thing for Kenyans to let their neighbors know that they have many valuables to protect and nothing does this better that an electric fence .
It is also worth noting that the electric fence does not discriminate and those inside are in as much danger as the ones outside and it is on record that there have been more casualties of innocent insiders than of intruders who anyway know how to disable the fence .
Kamau reminded Ochieng that even the hiring of security guards , the installation of panic buttons and surveillance cameras is meant primarily to raise alarm so that those inside can hide better and secure

It is worth noting that the electric fence does not discriminate and those inside are in as much danger as the ones outside and it is on record that there have been more casualties of innocent insiders than of intruders who anyway know how to disable the fence . such valuables as fast as they can before the breach .

Kamau further reminded Ochieng that thugs have long changed tactics and no longer try to break into Kenyan houses that are now built like fortresses and have opted for the more sensible and less arduous practice of waiting for the homeowner at the gate .
Thugs are no longer interested in carrying humongous TVs , home theatres and laptops to look for buyers and dangerous phones that are now traceable when one can get ready cash from hijacking the owner at his gate and emptying his pockets and bank accounts through the phone .
Kamau went on to explain other signs that Kenyans ignore for example ‘ Do not step on the grass ’ and you note that Kenyans are sitting on the grass and the women proceed to whip out bananas that they are carrying in their huge handbags and then throw the peels on the grass .
In Kamau ’ s view it is irresponsible that many public service offices , especially the government , fail to provide waiting areas and when they do it is inadequate . Yet being in a queue is a Kenyan way of life , where is one supposed to wait , certainly not on the roads and parking lots .
When confronted with such a situation the Kenyan way of thinking is that if you sit on the grass even though you had to step on the grass to sit is acceptable and as you never do actually see anybody asking them to get off the grass then it must mean the sign is an invitation to sit .
This type of logic is what must inform
94 MAL43 / 21 ISSUE