communicate. I don ' t simply want my message to be understood; I want people to leave the conversation feeling respected, valued, and encouraged.
Neither of these styles surprised me individually. Together, however, they told a story I hadn ' t fully recognized before. At first glance, the two styles almost appear contradictory. Direct communicators are often perceived as blunt or uncompromising, while supportive communicators are viewed as warm, patient, and relationship oriented. One is associated with driving results; the other with nurturing people.
Yet, the more I reflected on the combination, the more I realized that they could complement one another. If I were to describe my communication style in two words, it would be gracious directness. I strive to communicate with clarity without being harsh. I want my words to leave no room for confusion, while ensuring the person on the receiving end never feels diminished, attacked, or dismissed.
That realization naturally led me to another question: Now what? Knowing your communication style is valuable, but growth begins when you intentionally apply that knowledge.
For me, the answer is simple: be like water. Water never changes its essential composition. It is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. Yet, it possesses an extraordinary ability to adapt. It flows around obstacles, fills whatever container it occupies, and adjusts to its environment without compromising its identity.
This is the communicator I aspire to become. I want to remain authentic to who I am while
11 MAL73 / 26 ISSUE being flexible enough to connect with people whose communication styles differ from mine. Adaptability is not about pretending to be someone else; it is about meeting people where they are so that communication becomes more effective.
During another Toastmasters speech on communication styles, one speaker shared a quote that has stayed with me: " You can ' t change the position of the sun, but you can adjust how you stand in its light."
We cannot expect everyone to communicate the way we do. People are wired differently, shaped by different personalities, experiences, and perspectives. While we may not be able to change their communication style, we can choose how we respond to it.
A Note on Context
Different situations call for different communication styles. In an emergency, directness is essential because clarity can save time and sometimes even lives. When someone is grieving or navigating a difficult season, a supportive approach offers comfort, empathy, and reassurance. Presenting findings to a board or executive team may require a more analytical style, where facts, data, and logical reasoning take centre stage. When a room feels tense or disengaged, a touch of the initiating style can inject energy, inspire optimism, and create the momentum needed for a productive conversation.
This doesn ' t mean we abandon our natural communication style. Rather, we learn to adapt it with wisdom and intentionality.
Ultimately, the question is not, " Which communication style is best?" The better question is, " Which communication style will best serve this moment, this person, and this desired outcome?"
The most effective communicators are not those who master only one style. They are those who understand themselves well enough to remain authentic, while being emotionally intelligent enough to adapt their approach for the benefit of others.
In Conclusion
Understanding communication styles has changed the way I think about some of the most important interactions in my life, not just in my professional relationships, but in my personal ones as well.
Much like discovering the concept of love languages, learning about communication styles has given me a deeper understanding of both myself and the people around me. It has helped me recognize my natural inclinations while also appreciating that others may process, express, and receive information very differently.
That awareness has been both humbling and empowering. It has reminded me that effective communication is not simply about delivering a message; it is about ensuring that the message is received in the way it was intended. Sometimes that requires speaking more directly. At other times, it calls for greater empathy, more thoughtful questions, or simply taking the time to listen.
Ultimately, becoming a better communicator is not about changing who you are. It is about becoming more self-aware, more adaptable, and more intentional in how you connect with others.
For me, that is perhaps the greatest lesson from this project and one I hope to carry into every conversation, every presentation, and every relationship going forward.
Marion Wakahe is a marketing professional who is passionate about business growth and sustainability and its role in peoples’ empowerment. She is of the opinion that the marketing function is the primary driver of business growth. You can engage with her via email: MWakahe @ gmail. com.