Feats of anger , slipping into alcoholism and drugs , neglecting oneself are some of the things people do that have negative consequences , in some cases that last a lifetime .
The first place I recommend going to is on your knees , with folded hands and closed eyes . Whisper prayers , He hears . Expressing deep , true feelings in prayer helps ease the pain . Many try to be too ‘ proper ’ with God . That doesn ’ t help . He already knows you and the troubles you face . Praying and crying to Him is a path He opened for us to begin the healing .
Crying is also okay . Close to six years ago I suffered a personal loss that left me devastated . I cried , my pillow can tell stories . I ’ d never cried so much before ; I was surprised by the amount of tears my eyes carried . Initially I chastised myself for all the crying until later I realized that the tears helped wash away the pain and so I let them fall .
Get the help that you need . Turn to friends and family first . If it becomes clear that they ’ re not able to help you in the way that you need , then don ’ t hesitate to seek professional help . They call them ‘ shrinks ’ however , therapists and counsellors deserve much more credit . With tools at hand like cognitive behavioral therapy , therapists have very useful tools that will help you emerge a better , much stronger person after a painful loss .
Pen and paper are also friends . When I look at my journals from six years ago I ’ m surprised that my hand didn ’ t go numb . I wrote , a lot ! Now that I ’ m on the side of healed , I can hardly hand write a full page …. Journal your emotions . It doesn ’ t even necessarily have to be written , you can record your feelings . Whatever works for you , at the end of the day feelings need to be expressed in healthy ways .
Focus on the Lesson
Introspection will allow you to separate the variables that were within your control and those that weren ’ t . You ’ ll realize where you could have done better and use that in future . However , it ’ s important that as you realize where you went wrong …., focus on picking the key lessons from the experience .
Avoid Self-Flagellation
‘ Shoulding ’ is unhealthy . It ’ s important to extend grace to yourself . Human beings err , no one gets things right all the time . Forgive yourself for your missteps . The problem with this mental state is that it keeps you frozen and unwilling to take risks that result in growth .
Lemonade from lemons
How do you make the best of the situation ? With that mentality you ’ ll find that there is indeed always beauty for ashes . Good things can come from bad .
Count Your Blessings
“ When you arise in the morning , think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe , to think , to enjoy , to love .” - Marcus Aurelius . The gift of life is the first thing to be grateful for . And then , when you search harder you will find that there ’ s much more to thank God for . His blessings and graces are many . Every morning is an opportunity to start anew .
Draw Strength from Others
Whatever you face , someone else has . We ’ re blessed to live in a generation where many successful people have chronicled their journeys and in every case there ’ s a
story of loss and pain . They emerged out of it and so can you .
Realize You ’ re Not Singled- Out
In that moment of pain , it ’ s easy to imagine there ’ s a conspiracy against you . Maybe there is . But in most cases you ’ re suffering the result of being human .
I ’ m reminded of a famous saying that it is okay for the birds of worry to fly over your head , should they perch however , that ’ s on you . It ’ s not easy overcoming a loss but there are things you can do , most especially guarding your mental space , so that in the end you can emerge a victor . I ’ m here already giving an ovation to your upcoming victory .
Marion Wakahe is a marketing professional who is passionate about business growth and sustainability and its role in peoples ’ empowerment . She is of the opinion that the marketing function is the primary driver of business growth . You can engage with her via email : MWakahe @ gmail . com .