Variation in level of
politeness
In interpersonal communication, we have
both positive and negative politeness. All
human beings prefer to be considered as
positively polite because it depicts respect
and also to be thought of favorably which
is referred to as maintaining a positive
face. On the other hand, there are those
people who like to be autonomous and
have the right to do as they wish, this is
referred to as maintaining negative face.
Politeness in interpersonal communication,
then, involves behavior that allows others
to maintain both positive and negative
face. Politeness in messaging allows
people to express a desire or preference
without offending anyone and remaining
within the rules of polite interaction.
In online communications there are
different ways to be polite: being brief
in communicating information that is
needed; being gentle by saying no politely;
no shouting by avoiding capital letters;
being discrete and confidential; not
spamming; avoiding personal attacks; and
avoiding offensive language.
Deceptive messages
Interpersonal communication is premised
on the assumption that people will not
lie; however some lie in business, politics
and even at family level. One researcher
stated that lying begets lying; when one
person lies, the likelihood of the other
person lying increases. Another argues
that people like people who tell the truth
more than they like people who lie. So,
lying needs to be given some attention
in any consideration of interpersonal
communication.
Lying entails: The act of sending messages;
The message must have the intention of
giving another person information that
is false; It involves sending some kind
of verbal and/or nonverbal message; The
message must be received by another
person; It must be sent to intentionally
deceive.
There are four types of lies that we must
look out for in interpersonal relations:
Pro-social deception - to achieve some
good; Self-enhancement deception -
to make yourself look good; Selfish
deception - to protect yourself; and Anti-
social deception - to harm someone.
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Floyd Kory in his 2010 book titled
Nonverbal Communication, published
in Boston, MA came up with some
ways in which people lie; exaggeration,
minimization, substitution, equivocation
and omission. It is very difficult to detect
when a person is lying and when telling
the truth and we must continuously be
alive to this fact.
Kellen Kiambati holds an MBA
in Strategic Management from the
Kenya Methodist University and a
PhD in Business Administration
with
a
focus
in
Strategic
Management from JKUAT. She
is a member of the Institute of
Human Resource Management
of Kenya. She can be reached via:
[email protected].