COACHING
Burn Out
By Thrity Engineer-Mbuthia
S
tress is a very common term used
by many people. With the fast-
paced life that we embrace, stress
almost seems like the new normal. So
many things to do, such little time to
do all of them. Different things seem to
cause stress. Work - usually too much
of it, financial challenges, relationship
challenges, parenting challenges, the list
is endless. Little wonder then that the
juggling act leads to situations where one
feels they just cannot go on. Burn Out!
Burn out is not just about stressful
situations. It seems to touch on the mind,
body and spirit. The mental, physical and
emotional strain all contribute to a feeling
of being out of control of the situation.
It almost feels like the whole world is on
your shoulders and yet the burden is so
heavy, that you can’t do anything about it.
Now burn out can be caused by taking on
too much. But why would someone keep
taking on a huge load? Some possible
reasons include a belief that you are
meant to solve any and all problems in the
world, and so you absorb things that are
not meant to be your load. It could be that
someone is in a lot of emotional pain, and
by distracting oneself, that is a good way
of avoiding dealing with their problems.
It could be that someone finds it difficult
to ask for help because they perceive it to
be a sign of weakness. Others just don’t
know how to say no.
Saying NO
Could this be the answer to managing
burn out? Saying no to some things means
putting yourself in a very uncomfortable
position of having to ‘disappoint’ someone
else. Suppose you are at the office and your
colleague is working on a presentation
for the next day. She tells you her child
is unwell, and asks you to step in for her
to complete the presentation. You are also
working on your presentation which you
haven’t completed. Can you say no? And
if you do, then will she hate you forever?
You are up to your ears in projects and
activities. Your friend asks you to help
with her engagement party plans. This is
your very close friend. Should you say no
to her? Or should you find another project
to ditch so that you can have time to help
her out?
Burn out is not just about stressful situa-
tions. It seems to touch on the mind, body
and spirit. The mental, physical and emo-
tional strain all contribute to a feeling of
being out of control of the situation. It al-
most feels like the whole world is on your
shoulders and yet the burden is so heavy,
that you can’t do anything about it.
40 MAL32/19 ISSUE
These are situations we find ourselves
facing and the pressure from having to
deal with everything over a period of time
can lead to exhaustion and an inability to
function. And the easiest person to say
NO to is yourself. Self-care is put on the
back burner while trying to juggle all the
balls. Even when some balls are dropping,
one hardly ever stops to think about self.
The problem with this situation is that it
simply perpetuates the burn out feeling.
An analogy is used of a phone battery.
As it is used over time, the charge runs
out. For the battery to be efficient and for
the phone to serve its purpose, it must be
recharged. Most of us don’t let our phone
batteries die completely because we know
that if we are to use the phone, it must be
charged. It must be filled up.
It is the same with human beings. When
we are running on E, (empty on the fuel
gauge), it is very hard to be efficient
and have enough energy to take care of
everything. Fuel up, fill up the tank and
then you can run as fast as you need to.
What does self-care look
like?
The reason why many of us ignore self-
care is because we feel that it is a selfish
thing to put yourself before others. The
boss comes first, the kids come first, your
best friend needs you, she comes first.
So mindset is the starting point. The
realization that self-care is not being
selfish but rather it is being responsible.
Would you drive your car and wait for all
the fuel to run out so that it stalls in the