CROSSFIRE
The New Year Question
From Uncle Jerry That Got
Me Thinking!
By Herman Githinji
S
unday creeps on me with ease. It’s
the day I take everything easy - I
rest. I have been away visiting the
village for the New Year Holidays. Now
the celebrations are over. I watched my car
being washed with a grin. The happenings
of my last few days back in the farm
occupied my mind - the fun, albeit the
dirt roads and the cheeky village boys who
seemed to always hoard around the worst
parts of the road when the rains come.
They charged me an arm and a leg to push
my car out of the mud. It has been in them
to extort money from the city boys who
can’t wade knee deep mud to push their
own cars. Is this a reflection of my New
Year resolution?
Anyways, while still reflecting on that at
the car wash, guess who comes in? Uncle
Jerry. Uncle Jerry is this type of relatives
who have hang ups with life generally, and
wants to advice everyone, any time. So,
I said hi and braced myself for the next
piece of advice. I knew it was coming.
And he didn’t disappoint. He shot from
the hip, “what are your new year plans, or
are you just growing like a tree?” I smiled
sheepishly like that was more of a joke
than an abuse. I actually can’t remember
answering him. I didn’t owe an answer.
But that question got me thinking. So,
you can actually grow like a tree? That
happens when years just come and go,
and all we are doing is just growing old,
naturally, and actually not doing anything
to develop ourselves. May be uncle Jerry
Let us remember to do what we promised
ourselves to do when we didn’t have that
job, when we were broke, when we anx-
iously waited for that medical result, when
our partners or friends agreed to forgive us,
when we were eating and enjoying a lot of
unhealthy foods, when the landlord locked
us out for delayed rent, when we were giv-
en a second chance by our bosses. And lest
we forget that life is a duality. So, when we
are going downhill, we remember to reserve
some fuel, because for sure, an uphill com-
ing.
04 MAL28/19 ISSUE
has always thought I grow like a tree
because he has never seen any real fruits
of my plans. But I set goals. That, I have
always done for donkey years. Everyone, I
guess, sets annual goals. The problem is in
actualizing them.
I know uncle Jerry would like to see me
build houses for him to believe I set, and
achieve, goals, but one of my new year
goal is to lose some weight. I have always
struggled with these three or four excess
kilos that has always refused to go. So, I
joined a gym. When I went for my first
session, I was amazed by the number of
people in attendance. The gym was too
crowded for my liking. I complained.
The manager comforted me: “This is
only for January and Mid-February, after
that everyone will forget their new year
resolutions and fall back to their comfort
zones.”
That means we know what is right for us,
and we set goals to achieve it. But why
do we then drop the ball? When we set
stretching goals, we know we will have
to develop our abilities to achieve them.
We know we will also have to change
something, to start doing something or to
stop doing something, or both. Most times
what we must do is either something hard,
or something we don’t like. And we don’t
like pain. Hedonism is a school of thought
that all human action is ultimately
motivated by desires for pleasure and the
avoidance of pain.
While that is true, what we forget is that we
have to undergo some pain at one time or
another in order to enjoy a future pleasure.
If you live all your life trying to maximize
pleasure and escaping pain, then you will
have to face the natural consequences
of that lifestyle. Life is a duality. Every
hill has a valley; every night has a day.
Nothing good or bad lasts forever. So, we
have to inject some managed pain, or deny
ourselves, so as to enjoy a future benefit, or
to escape a more severe pain.
The problem comes when we want to
maximize pleasure and somehow escape
the consequences. Nature does not work
like that. I met Jane in the gym. She is
an old friend, and she has struggled with
excessive weight for a long time. Now, the
doctor says she must lose at least 20 kilos
if she wants to see her 60th birthday. She
is desperate. I told her she needs to stop
eating some foods and start eating more
vegies. She also needs to combine that
with some vigorous cardio exercises. I told
her that is what I have done all my life.
She said: ‘’you are lucky you like running
and you like those raw vegies.”
I was like, woooh! Wait! Wait! When you
see me running you think I love it? Far
from it. You should see me when I am
waking up to go run. I literally drag myself
from the bed. I look for all excuses not to
go for that run. When it starts to drizzle
just before I step out, I get a perfect excuse.
When I feel this way, and most often I do,
I dig deep into my resolve of achieving
this goal and of doing whatever it takes
to achieve it. I promised to do this 10km
then, I have to do it. I have to force myself
to do the right thing. Not because I love it,
but because it’s the only way.
Ok, there is another way. Denying myself
the pleasure that got me here in the first
place. Eating healthy and less. But you
should see me asking for more chocolate
mud cake, adding more sugar into my
tea, and stuff like that. At that point do
you know what is going on in my mind?
“but Herman you are going to jog 10k
tomorrow, so why not?”. But when that
tomorrow comes, the same mind sings
another song. Hedonism is real. That is
when I need to call in my resolve and
force myself to face the pain of my yester
decisions.
We therefore need to learn how to work
our mental strength, willpower or grit. It
is very hard to find someone ticking all the
relevant boxes when it comes to grit. Some
are weak in controlling themselves in one
area, and others are strong in controlling
themselves in another. We can use the
formula and grit in our strong areas to
rub onto our weak side. When we have a
problem, we know exactly what to do. But
when life brightens a bit, and we have a
breather, we go back to our life-as-usual
mode.
Before he left me, the same Uncle Jerry
gave me a story: “do you remember this
dog, Mote, you had in the village?” I said,
“yes”. Mote used to wail loudly the whole
night because it was freezing cold out
there. “Do you know what it was saying?”
I said no. He continued, “It used to cry
and promise itself that when daylight
comes, it must surely buy itself a blanket.”
“But do you remember what happened
when the day and sunshine broke every
morning?” He asked. I nodded my head
in affirmation. “Yes, you know, it forgot
all the night miseries and jumped up and
down, in joy, with its tail up. Now don’t be
like Mote.” He concluded.
Yes. I know that wasn’t kind, but let us
all not be like Mote. Let us remember
to do what we promised ourselves to do
when we didn’t have that job, when we
were broke, when we anxiously waited for
that medical result, when our partners or
friends agreed to forgive us, when we were
eating and enjoying a lot of unhealthy
foods, when the landlord locked us out for
delayed rent, when we were given a second
chance by our bosses. And lest we forget
that life is a duality. So, when we are going
downhill, we remember to reserve some
fuel, because for sure, an uphill coming.
Herman Githinji is a seasoned
marketing practitioner and law
graduate from the University Of
Nairobi. Currently the CEO Bidco
Land O’Lakes Company that makes
quality Animal Feeds using American
Technology. You can commune with
him on this and related issues via email
on: [email protected].