13
teacher as he lectured them on something grammar related. She really didn’t care. Suddenly, a
piece of paper was dropped onto her desk.
“Maybe this will inspired you to stop doodling in my class and pay attention.” It was her
short story, covered in red markings with a huge F on top. In red at the top of the paper read
the message, 'This is slightly demented and does not follow the assignment at all.” It was the
English assignment from sophomore year where each sentence was written by a new person.
What does Santa do if a naughty child puts coal on his wish list? He writes back to them
telling them they can’t have anything, and then they cry. They didn’t expect Santa to get them
absolutely nothing, and regretted asking for coal. Although they expected coal, they hoped
Santa would change his mind. Santa is an active gift-giver; when kids ask for coal Santa gives
them nothing. He must watch, learn, feed, grow. Often does he smile when he watches the children receive nothing. Grinning maniacally, screaming nonsensical phrases, and eating entire
watermelons nonchalantly, Santa loves watching the children cry at the sight of their empty
stockings and watermelon stained carpets. The carpets are stained with watermelons because
of the fights and the torture and the love and the fear and the evil little elf that hides under the
carpet drinking up
all of the escaping
watermelon juice.
Watermelons.
Kailee should
have written about
leprechauns.
Aisling Rowland