Open-Mouthed, Chipmunk-Cheeked
Elise Heyde
“Once the world was pulled out from beneath your feet, did you ever get to stand on firm ground again?”
Jodi Piccoult, Nineteen Minutes
He knew her. At least he thought he did. Damien could describe Essie Vanderkin down to a T. He knew the way her long brunette ponytail would swivel side to side as she ran. He knew that she mispronounced literally, saying “literately” because her older brother had said it so many times she began to. He knew that when she began to blink her mascara coated eyelashes she was struggling not to cry, because she hated to have anyone see her cry. He knew her smile. Her real smile. Her open-mouthed, chipmunk-cheeked grin, that hardly anyone else got to see because she was still self conscious from when she had braces. Damien missed that smile.
Essie had been his best friend since Essie had joined his seventh grade class in the middle of the year. Every new student that class had had walked in slowly, eyes looking down, nervous and shy. Essie walked in, head held high, surveying the group of preteens before her. It was as if she were judging all of them, instead of the other way around. Instantly, Damien was hooked. The problem was so was the rest of the class. Seventh grade was a time where confidence and a pretty face, which Essie definitely had, was all that mattered. But when Ms Layck had pointed Essie to the desk next to Damien's, he worked up the courage to talk to her. Being the seventh grade boy that he was, his first words to her were, “So what's Essie short for anyway? It can't be your real name.”
Essie turned to look at him calculatingly, Damien could have sworn there was a shadow of anger in her expression. As the years went by, he would be convinced that he imagined that detail, because Essie turned to him with her open-mouthed, chipmunk-cheeked grin and laughed, “If I told you, I'd have to kill you.
The young boy was hooked.
As the years went by Damien got used to having Essie by his side. Through their middle school graduation where Essie stole Damien's hat and switched it with hers to see if the teachers would notice them wearing the wrong color, to the first day of high school, trudging through the huge school, hunting down classrooms, and at the Sophomore girl's choice dance where Essie continuously reminded Damien how lucky he was that she had asked him of all people, as if there had been a chance she would not. Essie was his best friend. She may have been crazy, erratic, and a little controlling, but she was also fun, spontaneous, and confident. He could not imagine life without her.
But every now and then Damien would notice something off. It would not be obvious. Sometimes it would be a flinch when he would touch her suddenly. She might get so angry at a joke that she would drive off, leaving him stranded, driving back fifteen minutes later and acting as if it were all a joke. She liked to intimidate his girlfriends, later laughing that they had not been good enough for him anyway. Damien would ignore the flinch, pretend he believed it was a joke, or convince himself that Essie was looking out for him. And it would go away. Essie would return to her happy fun loving self.
“'No, he said calmly, filled with purpose. He took her arms lightly in his hands and shook her. 'I am not giving you up.' Emily looked at him and for just a moment he could read her thoughts. Chris felt her fear, her resignation, and the knotty pain of coming up against a brick wall again and again. She glanced away and he could breath again.
'The thing is, Chris,' Emily said, 'It's not your choice.'”
Jodi Piccoult, The Pact
But as time passed, Damien had trouble ignoring it. He got tired of the three am phone calls from Essie's mother asking if he knew where she was. Essie stumbling into his car, when he picked her up from what ever random house she was at made him feel sick. He would flinch the glassed over look in her eyes and the way she would slur her words as she preceded to tell him all the things she did that night that he would rather not hear about. It would lead into fights, where she would cry and promise to change and he would pretend to believe her.
The jaded boy wanted to believe her. Just like he wanted to pretend that Essie did not flinch, was playing a joke on him, and only did what she did because
she loved him. But he could not ignore how Essie's pleas for forgiveness and declarations of love where slurred and that she would pass out mid-word.
But then, she would pull him back. Essie was the first best friend he had every had. If Damien lost Essie, he would have no one.