Mag Blog Radio Expressions Volume 1 Issue 4 | Page 8

Dr. Manning’s Corner

Permanency and the Importance
of Talking about Relationships

7

by Dr. Greg Manning
www.DrGregManning.com

The importance of having positive and supportive relationships in our lives is likely to be
pretty clear to all of us. Based on my professional experience, what does not seem to be as clear for
many adults working with current / former foster youth is the critical importance of having open,
honest and ongoing conversations about seeking, maintaining and ending social relationships.
Before we have the conversation about relationships, we need to take a look at a Permanency which
is a fundamental component of healthy and lasting relationships.
Permanency can be defined as a safe, stable and secure relationship, often with a Parentlike figure, that is based on love and an unconditional commitment. A critically important issues to
address is that the foster care experience can create the illusion of Permanency due to the multitude
of people involved (caregivers, social workers, advocates, attorneys, etc.) in the lives of our foster
youth. The problem is that these people are in their life in a conditional manner and will likely exit
their life once they leave foster care. Helping our youth to secure Permanency is the most important
thing we can do, once their safety is assured.
When we approach the conversations about relationships, we need to pay attention to the
issues that can have significant impacts on the relationship experience. Issues to address include:
What qualities are important in a person, how / when / what to share about your foster care history
and how their family experiences might impact their relationship experience. In the end, it is
important that all of us (current / former foster youth + adults in their lives) be committed to starting
and sustaining open, honest and supportive conversations about the importance of healthy social
relationships. Let’s
get to work on Permanency and TALKING with our Youth!