Madison Magazine June-July 2020 | Page 20

Faith and Family GROWING UP Getting Fed Up a Part of Pandemic Parenting A typical squabble between siblings had broken out. One was arguing that the other had taken something of theirs. The argument escalated as it had before. Normally, the mother would calmly break the two up and have them stay in timeout for a while to cool down. That did not happen this time. The mother started yelling at the two and screamed for them to go to their rooms. The siblings stopped their argument at once, shocked. They then started to cry and ran up to their rooms. The mother felt awful and knew she should not have lashed out that way. It was just the stress of trying to get her two children to do their schoolwork on top of her remote job was overwhelming. Even with her husband’s help, she was floundering and not getting enough sleep at night due to financial worries. This situation is being experienced by many parents during the current pandemic. The high standards that were held before the pandemic have become impossibly tall mountains to climb. The reality is that parents need to lower their expectations for everyone in the family. This means that school assignments may not all be completed on time or that certain job tasks are delayed. Lowering expectations can reduce parents stress levels. Parents also need to make sure they are Now Enrolling St. Mark Catholic School Pre-K - 5th grade 859-623-2989 www.saintmarkcatholicschool.com Madison Magazine April-May 2020 looking out for their own needs. This means eating a healthy diet, making sure to exercise, and getting adequate sleep. Doing this will allow parents to stay calm, concentrate better, and become more effective problem solvers. It also means they are less likely to blow up when their children start fighting. Of course, being stranded at home for most of the day works against that as the tendency is to search out comfort foods, lie on the couch, and binge watch shows. When parents do lose their cool, it is important to wait to apologize until everyone has a chance to calm down. Nobody thinks rationally when they are still angry. Parents should be honest with their children and explain how they are tired, struggling, or even feeling overwhelmed. They can apologize for any bad language used and let their children know they are trying to do better. Apologizing does not erase the possibility of the parent having another temper tantrum. That means parents should plan on how to model appropriate responses when they are feeling overwhelmed. One way is to take some quiet time when frustration begins to build. Even a few minutes in the bathroom can head off a blow up. It can also help to be proactive and have various times scheduled into the day in which to recharge. FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH Our Church is Love oriented, Mission minded, Compassionately connected 9:45am Sunday School 11:00am Worship Service 330 West Main Street Phone: (859) 623-5323 Website: http://www.richmondfpc.com A few 15 minute periods scheduled into the day to read, exercise, or do a creative project can help put everything back into perspective and increase frustration tolerance. Even when parents make concerted efforts to take care of themselves, events can still be overwhelming. It is okay to model asking for help when it is needed. This could be using videoconferencing and receiving emotional support from a good friend. No one is able to get through moments of crisis without some help. It is inevitable that anger and frustration will boil over occasionally as a pandemic parent. The key is to try and be proactive in preventing it. Eat a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and exercise. Take recharging breaks throughout the day. Lower expectations about when can get done in a day and apologize when there are blow ups. Biography: Dan Florell, Ph.D., is an associate professor at Eastern Kentucky University and has a private practice, MindPsi (www.mindpsi.net). Praveena Salins, M.D., is a pediatrician at Madison Pediatric Associates (www.madisonpeds.com). MADISON DRUG 624-1565 110 BIG HILL AVENUE, RICHMOND HOURS: 8:30 A.M. - 6:30 P.M. MONDAY - FRIDAY 9:00 A.M. - 3:00 P.M. SATURDAY “Transferring is easy, just give us a call!” DRIVE THRU • FREE DELIVERY! ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ SELF STORAGE 75 Story by Dan Florell, Ph.D. & Praveena Salins, M.D. I-75 SELF STORAGE 210 N Keeneland Dr • Richmond, KY 40475 Michael Anderson 859-575-7129 ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★