M3 Today Magazine M3 Today Magazine Summer 2018 | Page 13

Do →Can Do → Want To Do Instead of finishing at Do, I started there. And that made me think I could do it. And that made me want to do it. Everything happens backward. You start doing and confidence and motivation follow. The Do Circle completely reverses how most of us operate every day. We think we need ability and motivation before action. Otherwise, we’ll fail. It’s how I thought about swimming for years. What’s wrong with that thinking? Well, it keeps undesirable tasks undesirable because we place our ability to get them done way down the mine tunnel at the end of the rickety railways of self-confidence (Can Do) and inspiration (Want to Do). What happens? Our most desirable tasks are placed with big mental barriers dropped in front of them. Want to write a book? I’ll take a writing course. Then find the perfect coffee shop. Then I’ll write a masterpiece. Wrong. Want to write a book? Write one page. Even if it sucks. The fact you did it will convince you that you can do it. Then you’ll want to do it. Want to start exercising? I’ll save up for a gym membership and new shoes. Then I’ll make the perfect playlist. And then find a gym buddy. Wrong. Want to start exercising? Run out your front door. Just run. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing. It doesn’t matter how far you go. You could run to the stop sign in dress shoes. The fact you did it will convince you that you can do it. Then you’ll want to do it. Then you’ll be a confident and motivated person who buys running shoes for the next time. It is easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than think yourself into a new way of action. Motivation does not cause action like we all think it does. Action causes motivation. Now get going. She gave an Obama-like pregnant pause and then said: “I guess you can’t come.” That night, for the first time in more 30 years, I signed up for swimming lessons. Suddenly, without thinking whether I could do it or whether I wanted to do it, I just did it. I signed up for an adult learn-to-swim program, offered by the City of Toronto, at the Trinity Bellwoods pool. A few weeks later, I was walking onto the pool deck with my heart thumping. I felt like running away. But I ended up learning one of the most valuable lessons of my life instead. What happened? Well, within two minutes, I realized I fit in. Who was with me? People with traumatic experiences. People from landlocked countries. I wasn’t the worst swimmer in the group, for once. We all sucked. Trust formed quickly. The instructor asked us to flutter-kick, with our life-jackets on, in the shallow end. That was it. The next week, we moved to the deep end. A month later, I was treading water. And by the end of eight weeks, I was doing the front crawl. How did I learn to swim in only a few hours when I was terrified of it my whole life? Well, here’s what happened. After my first swimming lesson, the idea that I might be able to swim crept into my head. I thought I could do this. And the thrill of flutter-kicking in the shallow end gave me motivation to go back next week and see what else I could do. I wanted to swim now. I love moldy locker rooms. Give me the flutter board. I was desperate to get back. My Do Line changed from this: Can Do → Want To Do → Do To this: ABOUT NEIL PASRICHA Neil Pasricha is the New York Times best-selling author of The Happiness Equation and The Book of Awesome series, which has been published in 10 countries, spent over five years on best-seller lists, and sold over a million copies. Pasricha is a Harvard MBA, one of the most popular TED speakers of all time, and after 10 years heading Leadership Development at Walmart he now serves as Director of The Institute for Global Happiness. He has dedicated the past 15 years of his life to developing leaders, creating global programs inside the world’s largest companies and speaking to hundreds of thousands of people around the globe. He lives in Toronto with his wife and sons. globalhappiness.org 13