Painting by Paul Heumann
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A dam West makes William Shatner look like Marlon Brando, having said that after viewing Christopher Nolan’ s The Dark Knight Rises, West’ s performance shines over the lack of a performance by everyone’ s savior Christian Bale. The Nolan Batman universe takes itself way too seriously and proves that the comic book can be turned into multimillion dollar projects just so executive producers, studios, and the comic book industry can make a lot of money by raping the character and turning it into a mainstream piece of shit. The 1966 Batman film has more charm and more accurately portrays the Batman comic book universe to live action. For one Batman is wearing his original real costume with the cool gray tights and the yellow circle Batman symbol on his chest, plus it has an actual cowl. For some reason ever since Tim Burton changed the Batman costume back in 1989 with his interpretation of the franchise with an all black rubber costume it seems that Hollywood can’ t get away from what they call the“ realistic” choice of all black. First off, fuck realism it’ s a story about a man who dresses up as a bat to fight crime. That idea is goofy as hell but in the comic it looks so badass. Since it looks so badass you are willing to accept the idea that this man would put his life on the line for the good of mankind or in Nolan’ s case for wealthy business men.
But now back to the 60s. In the film it seems that any girl that puts on a foreign accent and plays the damsel in distress can fool Batman. Now there is a scene in the film that seemed insane to me. Batman as Bruce Wayne is on a date with Catwoman, who’ s pretending to be some famous Russian girl, and Alfred and Robin are listening in on the date. During the date, Catwoman decides to jerk off Bruce in the horse carriage. It has to be the most awkward scene in the whole film and both Alfred and Robin are listening in. Now Robin turns off the radio because he finds it awkward to listen, but as soon as he turns it off Alfred gets pissed and passive aggressively tells Robin to turn it back on. What the hell is happening? I thought this was a Batman movie. Shortly after Bruce is kidnapped and a subplot begins. Hooray finally some action. Nope Bruce is completely clueless that the
THE MOVIE
Russian girl is Catwoman, and is tied up in another room. Shortly after he does escape and there is a thrilling action sequence that I think is pretty impressive due to the fact that there are no special effects and that it’ s just actors and stunt men.
Later on in the film Batman and Robin were foolish enough to bring the Penguin into the Batcave. The Penguin approaches Batman and Robin disguised as a sailor or something, Batman and Robin can totally see through the disguise and decide to bring him back to the cave for some reason and of course the Penguin has a plan involved with a gang that would attack Batman and Robin. It wasn’ t affective. There are a lot of scenes like that one where you don’ t fully understand the motives or actions of the characters.
Now the opening of the film was pretty badass, it was stylistic and was very 60s. But a few things bothered me about the actors. For one thing the Commissioner Gordon actor didn’ t grow out a moustache but the Joker has a moustache under his white paint. Could they not ask Neil Hamilton to grow out a moustache? Could they not ask Cesar Romero to shave his off? They could have just reversed the roles. I mean Cesar Romero’ s Joker acted Mexican for some reason, but then again Frank Gorshin played the Riddler gay so I guess it all fits.
Overall the film is so bad that it’ s good. It’ s only 104 minutes long and has plenty of outrageous moments that are well worth viewing. If you are looking for a serious action drama with Batman don’ t watch this film, in fact if you are actually looking for a serious action drama with Batman you need to realize that Batman is a comic book character and should be treated like such. He’ s not a cop or a lawyer so stop trying to turn him into one. He’ s also not a bitch, Batman really doesn’ t give a fuck and will destroy your world if you cause harm to someone.
Jan 23 2013
Red
Sincerely,