DAY XIV
Why am I insane?
Is it because I can choose to see the world differently? I spent a day of my life standing in Times Square just looking around. I was looking at the world as if it were two-dimensional. People who appeared bigger and more focused were not actually close; they were just bigger. When a rectangular door opened, it became a trapezoid. When people turned around, their faces ceased to exist. They just became a colorful, non-descript silhouette. This day, while seemingly unimportant, was one of the most interesting days of my life. I was able to do what is considered impossible: I changed my perception of reality itself. When I told this story today, they murmured constantly. I caught passing words of “unnatural,” “unthinkable,” and “fantastic.” But in the end, they agreed that the incident confirmed their beliefs of my insanity. Is this what defines me as insane? They merely weighed the perceptions of a group seen as “more real” over another, and yet, I am insane.
But why am I insane?
DAY XXVI
Why am I insane? It’s been said that if you repeat something over and over again you might begin to believe it. All these things they say, those that I experience are leading me towards an end that I cannot yet see, and I am not even sure it is even there. They placed me in solitary the day after my last interviews for reasons I have yet to decipher, and so, here I sit alone, by myself, without them, left only with my thoughts, a pencil, and this journal. When
I was moved into the room, I had an experience of joy! There was a new constant, something I had so longed for after the dragging experience. That was a time when I was truly alone, similar to now,
LOYOLA
BLAKEFIELD
LITARTMAG
2014
30