Mimi la Boom
The child who can’t or won’t tell her story can cause therapeutic despair. “I wonder whether she’ll talk to me today” is often the unspoken thought in the therapist’s mind. The causes for this narrative drought are many and are not acknowledged in the negative descriptor ‘uncooperative’. The child may simply not trust the situation. The pressure of being in a 3×3 meter room with a stranger, no means of escape and the expectation of talking may overwhelm her or be out of culture. She may have no developmental model for talking about her inner world or even the minutiae of her day-to-day world. She may fear consequences for telling her story. The story may be so traumatic it is beyond memory. The child may lack the language of emotions, be a concrete thinker and confused by the questions. She may have difficulty reading emotions and body language and be frankly terrified by the empathic posturing of the therapist. Often she is simply so weary of having her story hijacked by parents, caseworkers or referring clinicians, she despairs of authorship: “Why ask me? Just read the file!”
Attempting to extract story from the unwilling child is at best, unpleasant, at worst it can feel abusive. It can be tempting to reach for the script pad, medicate and book a review in a month! Yet the goal of having real dialogue with the child is paramount. We all recognize the extraordinary wave of well-being that comes when the dam gates open and the child begins to freely tell her story. It is as though having authorship of one’s own life is as fundamental a need as security and love. Finding that gentle passage between the mute or monosyllabic child and child confident enough to tell you about things that matter is the challenge.
This is where a little, black Shetland pony may help, the child learning to stand bold, look you in the eye and begin their narrative in the hoof-steps of Ryan: “Hello, my name is Ryan O’Brien and I have a story to tell.” I have now observed dozens of young patients work their way through the Ryan O’ Brien books. It is wonderful to observe their narrative shift, almost seamlessly, from the lives of ponies on the Meadow to their own life. Many declare they want to write their own story, and I encourage them to do so, with photographs, little pieces of hand written text and lots of drawings. Most want to include the character of Ryan O’ Brien in their own story. Some have gone on to learn to ride and harass their parents/carers about getting a pony. Perhaps these books should carry a warning!
Charlie the Racehorse
Monty
Malone
36 Love Thy Horse Magazine