Love Sleep Report Final 2020 Love Sleep Report FINAL | Page 14

time for
a check-in?
If you have a sense that daily life is interrupting your bedroom life,
take a look at the questions below, developed by CORST accredited
psychosexual and relationship therapist Kate Moyle. Maybe we can
help you to reclaim your bedroom…
distracted disconnection:
1.
2.
Who is on their
phone more?
Which of you is more
affected by stress?
3. Which of you is more
likely to say you are too
tired for sex?
4. Which of one of you is
more likely to be on your
phone in bed?
5.
Which one of you is
more likely to say ‘we
need to make sure we
prioritise spending time
with just the two of us’?
If you answered mainly me:
We understand that sex lives are about so
much more than just what happens between
the sheets, and that relationship and sex life
satisfaction often go hand in hand. When
we feel loved and appreciated by partners
in our relationship, it can make us feel more
open or receptive to sex. When we spend
quality time with someone and have their
full attention, it can reinforce the connection
that we have and can make us feel loved and
desired, which can in turn pay positive
dividends in our sex lives.
If you answered mainly them:
Sex is a form of communication between
partners, but there is so much that comes
before it. We are neurobiologically primed as
humans to connect with others, and so things
like ‘setting the scene’, or sitting facing each
other and talking, can help us to connect
in ways that make us feel more relaxed and
comfortable with that person. Technology is
a barrier to this, but is a constant in our lives,
which means that we need to be even more
aware of its intrusion getting in the way
without us really noticing.
connected in more ways than one:
1.
2.
Who is more likely to
arrange a date night?
Which of the two of you
likes more cuddles?
3. Which of you is more likely
to say “Intimacy is much
more than just sex”?
4. Which of you is more
likely to say “When we are
emotionally closer, I want
to have sex more”?
5.
“Regular contact through-
out the day is an important
part of our relationship for
me”: Which of you does this
statement apply more to?
If you answered mainly them:
Couples are not always perfectly balanced.
This dynamic may work for you both until you
decide you’d like to be the initiator, which then
goes against the normal way of doing things.
It can make some partners feel disempowered
if they are always the one responding, so try
setting rules around the different parts of
your relationship and share the responsibility
when it comes to things like organising date
nights or couple activities. Balance can be
a really important aspect in relationships,
and it can be fluid rather than fixed.
the sleep
experts
If you answered mainly me:
Then you are probably the partner that feels
like they need more closeness and contact in
a relationship. We often see patterns of one
partner being the initiator and the other being
the responder in couples, but what can happen
is that one partner feels that they are doing all
the work and the other feels they are not given
a chance to. So try mixing things up and setting
each other a challenge of arranging something
new or fun to do together, where the partner
who is normally the initiator steps back from
the organiser/lead position.
Investors in the science of sleep since 2007,
each of our natural sleep solutions are put
through independent user trials and clinical
studies, so you can be confident This Works is
more than our name – it’s our promise.
#RECLAIMTHEBEDROOM