My 2017 breakup was probably the most
heartbreaking yet shaping experience for
me. People tend to invalidate breakups as
something that shouldn’t be traumatic but,
it IS a loss after all, and I had lost a
combination of a friend and a lover.
This one’s by Marlie Sol.
Due to the lack of closure from my ex
during our breakup, I dissected my self
worth to the point where there was none,
or so I thought. This was when my depres-
sion decided to come back, and I soon
started engaging in self destructive be-
haviors that will go unspecified. Once the
behaviors became known to my ex, that was
the beginning of when he started to act
like he didn’t even know me at all. It’s
completely possible that I scared him off,
but even that I don’t have closure for.
It’s difficult to have an attachment to
someone who made it seem so easy for them
to forget you, but to also not know shit
about their intentions.
It’s two years later, and it is still so
painful for me to look back on. But if
there’s anything I’ve learned from this
all, it’s that sometimes it’s okay to
leave things unsaid. There’s always gonna
be pain and confusion that comes with it,
but in the end, giving it time is so worth
it. Although we don’t speak, which I still
get upset about from time to time, I’m so
lucky that I now realize the beauty in ac-
ceptance, and simply releasing with love.