30 years ago, I believed that finding a romantic partner was hard work. I thought I had to change how I looked, how I behaved and what I liked or disliked in order to attract a mate and have a successful romantic relationship.
I didn ' t think I was enough, so I became a master at chameleon-like behavior and could morph into whoever I needed to be depending on who I was with. I kept my opinions to myself. I didn ' t rock the boat and went along with whatever my significant other wanted to do. This worked for awhile. I did find what I thought was love, but how could it truly be love when my partner didn ' t really know who I was? Who had he actually fallen in love with? How could I truly love anyone else when I didn ' t love myself?
Each time I molded myself to become someone else ' s idea of how I should behave or what I should think or feel, the real me faded away a little more just like an image in an old photograph. I didn ' t know what the real me thought or felt any more. With each passing year, I lost touch with my authentic self. After years of silencing my inner voice, I couldn ' t tell the difference between the real me and the " good girl " I had become to please others.
A few failed relationships later, I finally started to understand that pretending to be something other than myself was sabotaging my relationships before they even got started. I learned that when I allow myself to be myself, I attract lots of terrific people into my life. These people love me for who I am. They don ' t try to control me and I don ' t try to control them.