performing males who are incapable of leading our country forward. He also warns,“ There is nothing more dangerous that a lonely, broke young man.”
Parents all want to raise sons in a world where males thrive. So, have young men fallen so fast? If so, why? We have known for many years that male brains mature later than females, so boys frequently fall behind socially. Boys also face an educational system biased against them. Many males today grow up without a solid male role model, including fewer male teachers and remote learning that isolates students from their male teachers’ interpersonal contact. The social contract has been severed, specifically if you work hard and play by the rules, you will be better off than your parents. Instead, if you are an American age 70 or older, today you are 72 % wealthier than you were 40 years ago, and people under 40 are 24 % less wealthy. The deliberate transfer of wealth from young to old in the U. S. over the past century has led to unaffordable costs for education and housing. Consider the skyrocketing student debt of our medical trainees and even our own children and grandchildren. In addition to the cost of college being out of reach for many, the manufacturing jobs that didn’ t require a college degree have moved offshore, and the salaries for trade work have fallen below sustainability. Prohibitive real estate costs contribute to why in America, 60 % of males between the ages of 18 and 24 live at home, and 20 % are still at home by age 30. He also observes that algorithmically generated content on social media contributes to – and profits from – young men’ s screen obsessions causing more social isolation, boredom and ignorance of real life. Young men now grow up without the skills to build social capital or create wealth. Continuing an alarming downward trend, U. S. labor force participation rates for young men ages 16-24 was 61 % in July 2024. 1 Some have given up trying. From 2005 to 2019, over 100,000 Americans per year die from despair: suicides, drug overdoses, alcohol poisoning. 2 Many are unemployed white males.
Women in the country have done much better. The prefrontal cortex of women matures earlier, they perform better in the classroom and on standardized tests, are more social, and these strengths benefit them immensely in the workplace. As the author cautions,“ Overdue attention should be paid not just to girls and women, but many other groups that history hasn’ t benefitted the same way as men. But empathy isn’ t a zero-sum game – it should be inclusive, not some Hunger Games competition for dwindling resources.” 3 from men: 1) providing resources, 2) intellect and 3) kindness. These are attributes that require consistent effort, openness to learning, accepting mentorship and modeling appropriate social behaviors. Younger men often lack opportunities to learn these things and tend to under develop the behaviors that lead to meaningful relationships, love and financial success.
The book is roughly a memoir with content divided chronologically into 10 chapters, starting with boyhood and adolescence, through marriage and fatherhood. Chapter 9 titled“ Man.. ners” begins to tie together the previous sections with the observation that,“ Key to humans’ survival is and has been kindness, consideration and cooperation,”( page 238). Etiquette books aimed at men historically emphasized honor, leadership and sacrifice. Galloway pushes these attributes as necessary skill development for our upcoming generations. He discussed historical training experiences like boy scouts, sports teams and the military that emboldened young men and taught the skills to grow into functioning adults. Fewer men today take advantage of these growth experiences. Today, Galloway theorizes the ultimate goal of any male should be to create“ surplus value” – and accept that you give more in relationships than you get.
In summary, the author sets the three major goals of becoming a man as“ Protect, Provide and Procreate.” Galloway also emphasizes the importance of learning to be kind to others. It’ s okay to ask for help. Model yourself on the people who help you. Greatness and happiness are in the agency of others. As you get older, the relationships you have with people that you love, and who love you, matter more than anything in life.
I enjoyed this book and appreciated the author’ s style and self-revelations. There is no such thing as balance, only tradeoffs. I recognized many of these painful failures in my own life and areas where I should improve. I bought a copy to give to my 30-year-old son and will keep needling him to make sure he reads it. Women and children cannot flourish if men aren’ t thriving, and neither will our country. 4
References:
1
Bureau of Labor Statistics( https:// www. bls. gov
2
CDC, https:// en. wikipedia. org
3
Page 6 Notes on Being a Man, Galloway
4
Page 95, Notes on Being a Man, Galloway
Dr. Wernert is an Executive Medical Director and practices with Norton Behavioral Medicine.
Galloway summarizes that there are three things women are seeking
March 2026 23