arms and generally looking pretty pink. Apgars were 5 and 8. My gut settled, and I could start focusing on the retained placenta that now hit the 30-minute mark. I was able to detach and then stop the hemorrhage that followed without surgery or device intervention. At last, I had a sense of relief.
The neonatologist finished the assessment and walked over to talk to the patient. This doc placed the baby on the mom’ s chest for skin-to-skin time and leaned in to talk to the patient and her partner. The usual summary of the baby’ s assessment was given, and I thought that would be the end of that. But it wasn’ t. Without ever looking at me, the neo proceeded to tell my patient that she should thank me for the work I just did and that they had seen too many of these have very different outcomes. Then the doc stood upright and walked out – again, never making eye contact with me.
At that point I became speechless. I’ m not even sure I can find the words now. I hope we all get kind and appreciative words from patients and family like an“ atta boy” arm slug. I would hope that we all get kind words from peers that know us well, especially when we aren’ t having the same great outcome I had that night. But, apparently, getting kind appreciative words from peers that I had not yet spoken to, came with a bigger punch.
Twenty minutes later I was assisting another obstetrician with a C-section. It was our first case together. She is in her first year and told me at the end that it was the worst cervical extension she had had to repair. The bleeding was brisk, the visualization was poor, but the surgery got finished without complication.
For the next couple of days, I did my usual debrief reflection when I have tough call days. I realized a few things:
1) The neo’ s words were powerful and we should put those thoughts to words more often for our peers and co-workers.
2) This job may feel thankless, but it is not. We just have times where we stop hearing the“ thank yous” – even if they are being said around us.
3) Even though my years of experience have allowed me to have“ seen” most of everything this job can throw at me, it doesn’ t mean I’ ve seen it all or that the outcomes will always be great.
I can’ t control it all. I can’ t fix it all, but I can help the next generations of whippersnappers navigate their worst cases. Sometimes that help comes in physical assistance. And sometimes that help is just in supportive words. Apparently, even an old soul can have her emotional bucket still filled by peer appreciation. I have to chuckle when women tell me their first pap smear wasn’ t as painful as they were told it would be. With the right patient, I might even respond with,“ Feel free to write on the bathroom stall‘ for a good pap call Doc-’.” Gynecology humor!
We are practicing in hard health care times. Who knows how long this will last? Let’ s support each other with words and with actions. Let’ s fill some emotional buckets. Let’ s remind our fellow providers that they are appreciated. Let’ s go grab a cocktail or tea at the bar where my number can be found.
Dr. Barnsfather is an OB-GYN with Norton Women’ s Health.
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