wanted to take their last breaths in the comfort of their own home and surroundings . Michael would then ask if any of the guests had made their feelings known to family or close friends . Most of his guests had not . They felt too uncomfortable to share their desires with others .
“ Of the many things these questions evoke , perhaps the most important sentiment is that you only die once . We carefully consider and plan our weddings and our children ’ s births , and we recognize these moments as major transitions . To deny our end of life the same level of consideration denies a tremendous part of us , perhaps the most important part : that we are in fact mortal .”
This book is written for a non-medical public . These conversations are hard for anyone but especially for doctors . Michael quotes one physician saying that “ We like cures . We ’ re excellent at saving lives but struggle to accept that we can ’ t save everyone . And a good death is as important as a successful resuscitation .”
It is the concepts in this small book that are extremely important . As a piece of literature , it suffers from being too focused on Michael Hebb and his dinners rather than a thematic progression . If one can look past the frequent allusions to what he has done personally and the name-dropping of celebrities at his dinner , one can appreciate the need for all of us in the medical community to include conversations on death , while we prescribe for life .
Michael has used his TEDMED Talk platform and many speaking engagements to found “ Death Over Dinner ” which has inspired over a million people to join in conversations about death while sitting with others for dinner . Other authors have written about the lack of communication on death at a higher level of
literary excellence . Atul Gawande ’ s Being Mortal : Medicine and What Matters in the End , is much more focused on current culture that precludes conversations on death . Michael Connelly ’ s new book on our societal focus on technology over caring is laid out in The Journey ’ s End : An Investigation of Death and Dying in Modern America . Locally , the late Dr . Virginia Keeney led a number of conversations in our community . As a psychiatrist , she was better prepared than most doctors to initiate such conversations . Of course , Hosparus and other palliative care organization in Louisville do hold conversations about death but usually with families when the end is well anticipated .
The fact that Let ’ s Talk About Death ( Over Dinner ) is receiving significant public press is more of a signal that as physicians we are not the ones initiating these conversations . This book , or the ones by Gawande or Connelly , should be read by every practicing physician . As doctors we need to know how to convey hope , concern and the realities that all of our patients have an ending : let us challenge ourselves to be physicians to the end .
References :
1
Let ’ s Have Dinner and Talk About Death Youtube : https :// www . youtube . com / watch ? v = akS6w7Bi66s
2
Michael Hebb , Let ’ s Talk about Death ( over Dinner ) De Capo Lifelong Books , Oct 2 , 2018
3
Michael Connelly , The Journey ’ s End : An Investigation of Death and Dying In Modern America Hardcover Rowman and Littlefield Publishers April 4 , 2023
4
Atul Gawande , Being Mortal Metropolitan Books , Oct 7 , 2014
Dr . James has been a long-time member of GLMS . He is in the part-time practice of internal medicine and pediatrics .
January 2024 21