OVERCOMING OBSTACLES
The Tragedy of Silence
by MONALISA TAILOR , MD
June 8th . That ’ s Dr . David Partin ’ s birthday . It is still on my phone , along with his contact information , and picture . I cannot bring myself to delete it . My friend , Dr . Kyle Cothron , can ’ t delete his number either . David was always a kind friend . He would find a way to make the team laugh when he was a student on Kyle ’ s team . David would always be happy and kind with any psychiatry consult my team asked of him in residency . He never pushed back on the consult question . He was the guy you were glad to see when you went to the psych floor of UofL Hospital . That ’ s what made it so hard when we heard David had died by suicide in 2018 . He had been practicing in Southeastern Kentucky and was early in his attending life . We hadn ’ t been able to keep in touch the way I would have liked . But this came as a surprise and a shock . We would never have thought this could happen .
As physicians and health care providers , we recognize our patient ’ s mental health , yet struggle with recognizing our own . Admitting we are depressed , anxious or even burdened by some of the patient stories we carry can be so taboo . There are hesitations to seeking out care or admitting to our colleagues that we even feel this way .
I got to spend an evening with a new grad of the University of Louisville School of Medicine to share the joys of starting residency and wish her well before her move . One of the questions she asked me was “ How do you process when you deal with a difficult patient situation where you lose a patient , and then have to walk into another room where you act as though nothing happened ?” She asked how you do that to just move on , and how do you find time to process what you saw ? I did not know how to answer her . It reminded me of so many difficult situations that I had seen with patients , and I didn ’ t have a good space to process either .
As Dr . Barry and Kathryn Vance told me about our theme for July , overcoming obstacles , I realized so many of us have a story to tell , yet would not feel comfortable sharing our struggles in this space . We feel uncomfortable due to concern for the stigma we face in our medical community .
What will referring providers think of me ? What will my partners think of me ? What would my health care system think of me ?
Having counseling is helpful and I ’ m so thankful we have more resources through GLMS , LMS and KMA to do so . From this year ’ s legislative session , passing Senate Bill 12 that encourages physicians to seek care when needed through a wellness program and ensures that a record of a physician ’ s participation in such a program is confidential and has legal protections . However , we also need community , so we do not bear this burden alone .
I write this piece to give you space to reflect on what obstacles you have overcome . I write this piece to give you space to reflect on why you may not be comfortable sharing that obstacle . My hope is that we find ways to share our stories without worry of stigma in our health care circles . May we be able to share the health care stories that leave an indelible mark on our humanity so we can have more compassion for ourselves , our patients and for each other .
Maybe if we can foster this environment for each other , we can save doctors like David , who would know they have a community around them .
https :// www . croleyfh . com / obituaries / David-Jeffrey-Partin-MD ? obId = 3980288
Dr . Tailor is a practicing internal medicine physician at Norton Community Medical Associates : Barret and is the current KMA President .
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