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Omnipotently conditioned people Low self-esteem Rigid , uncompromising conscience
Commits unconditionally to others , staying in dead relationships
Has a wide scope of interests
Impotently conditioned people Inflated self-esteem Conscience is whimsical and pliable
Commitments are conditional , ending relationships over minor infractions
Narrow scope of interests restricted to personal desires thinks that they are “ Superman .” The impotent person conceives of themselves as weak and inert .
Omnipotently conditioned infants are given necessary care or are often abused or neglected . As toddlers , parents reinforce their accomplishments in meeting developmental milestones . They gradually teach them to give deference to other people ’ s wants and needs . By school age , they ’ re expected to achieve high standards in sports , academics and arts . They are rewarded for acquiescing to other people ’ s wishes . In adolescence , they are high achievers and rarely get in trouble with substances or gangs . Adults often become “ workaholics ” and care for those they see as weaker . Omnipotently conditioned people strive for perfection , see great value in impotently conditioned people , second-guess themselves and seek out thankless relationships .
Impotently conditioned infants receive constant attention ( the “ nervous Nellie ” parents ), sometimes so much that they get irritable . In their toddler years , these children are rarely told “ no ” and become defiant , leading to “ the terrible twos .” School age children don ’ t follow rules well and are good at manipulating people . By adolescence they often lie and may resort to delinquent behavior . As adults , they shun responsibility and expect others to pick up the slack . Impotently conditioned people are quite arrogant , don ’ t like to be questioned , love being dependent on others and assume their first impression to be reality .
There are three types of relationships that can result from these conditioned individuals .
In an impotent-omnipotent relationship , an impotent person will supply 3-30 % of the emotional support in a relationship , whereas the omnipotent person will supply 70-97 %. These relationships begin by an attraction for finding a “ perfect mate .” This perfection for an omnipotent person is taking care of a vulnerable , exciting person . For an impotent person , perfection is being wrapped in a cocoon of total care , reminding them of childhood . The omnipotent becomes exhausted from giving so much , and the impotent increases demand for support . Eventually , separation ensues . To further understand these kinds of relationships , Dr . Adams suggests the movies Blue Jasmine or Ordinary People or The Door in the Floor .
Impotent-impotent relationships are the most volatile and least 24 LOUISVILLE MEDICINE harmonious with each person vying to be the “ top dog .” There are frequent emotional blowups and require a large amount of support . For this type , she suggests the movies What Maisie Knew and Who ’ s Afraid of Virginia Woolf ?
Finally , in omnipotent-omnipotent relationships , we find the most stability and endurance . Both people are intolerant of much emotional support from the other because each are accustomed to giving support , not receiving . People in these relationships often have “ perfection scuffles ” with both people thinking that their way is better . They can communicate well , as long as they can resolve initial conflicts . Movie suggestions include When Harry Met Sally and The Remains of the Day .
To sum up her presentation , Dr . Adams shared the UGLY , the BAD and the GOOD of emotional conditioning . For more information or resources on any of these relationships , conditioning or the deconditioning process , visit doctorchristineadams . com .
THE UGLY – Everyone is emotionally conditioned , even in other countries , cultures and religious backgrounds . Parents condition each child in the family differently , which is why there is such a difference in siblings . The way that parents condition different children is governed by the family ’ s circumstances , such as a lost job , moving a lot , characteristics of the child and more .
THE BAD – Emotional conditioning is unconscious , making it difficult to grapple with and change . We must know it exists before we can make any changes . Emotional conditioning creates emotional illnesses because when people cannot carry out their roles , they become symptomatic and ill .
THE GOOD – We can override our automatic responses through “ deconditioning .” People can do this through psychotherapy or education through books , podcasts and more . The antidotes to emotional conditioning are observing and thinking . Thinking slows down or stops the automatic , knee-jerk reaction .
Kathryn Vance is the Communication Specialist at the Greater Louisville Medical Society .