INFLUENCERS IN MEDICINE
She protected the victim while fiercely advocating for them , not allowing the defense to misconstrue her words . I will never forget Nanna turned to me on the commercial break and laughingly asked , “ Do you realize how long eight years of school is going to be ? But I support you if that ’ s what you want to do .” I was certain . For the next few years Dr . G completed interviews about the case and its verdict , yet I saw her remain true not only to herself , but to the integrity of her job . She refused to speculate and stuck to her guns when it came to the conclusion of her autopsy . From watching her first episode to the most renowned case of her career , I never ceased to be inspired .
Returning to my hometown for winter break after my first semester of college , I was bombarded with pharmacologic and physiologic questions that were exceedingly out of my depth . I realized friends and family thought physician training began with your bachelor ’ s degree . I did find , though , that I loved their questions because they made me think critically about the fundamental sciences I was learning . I kept late hours with my studies because there was something about kind-of sort-of understanding these medical concepts that kept a passion burning . New to pre-med life , my joy in medicine arose from a pursuit of knowledge . When my grandmother received a copy of her bloodwork from her kidney doctor , I still couldn ’ t understand labs , and I was far from fluent in medical terminology ; but then she asked why it ’ s called a nephrologist . I was ecstatic — my Introduction to Anatomy course had covered this ! I sat down and drew a nephron on the back of an old billing statement . We talked for 15 minutes about how the blood is filtered in the kidneys and how diabetes was “ bad for them .” Admittedly , “ bad for them ” was all I had , but it was more than I ’ d known just a few months prior . To my surprise , she confided that kidney function had never been explained to her and it now made more sense . This thrilled me more than her question did . I finally had my first unofficial patient who trusted me to explain her medical conditions . It was with these explanations that Nanna felt more empowered to ask her doctors questions at visits . From that moment , the excitement of trying to explain things to Nanna , like Dr . G did on her show , is what would carry me through the next eight years .
Now a senior in medical school , I am indulging in a moment of silence while sitting on the locker room floor . Dr . G has since retired , and Nanna is asleep for the night . It ’ s been an incredibly fast and busy shift on the Labor and Delivery unit during my acting internship . It is 3:00 a . m . and I am reminded of my exhaustion by the stinging in my eyes , but I revel in the excitement of loving every second in the hospital . I stretch my legs onto the cool tile in front of me , thanking them for carrying me up and down stairs , in and out of the OR . My hands grasp the Styrofoam cup that I wish was four times its size , stealing the warmth of the coffee . There have been multiple traumas and several emergent deliveries on top of an already full floor .
I focus my eyes on the fluorescent lights softly buzzing above me . I am months away from graduation and somehow these last eight years have felt both the longest and shortest of all . And as poetic as it would be to say that I reminisce about my Introduction to Anatomy course that provided my first glimpse into medicine , I do not . Instead , I meditate heavily on the type of pizza I want from Spinelli ’ s since the team has decided to put in an order . In that locker room floor , extra cheesy pizza with lots of pepperoni is going to skyrocket my already content mood . Sometimes it ’ s the spontaneous things , especially marinara-coated things , that bring you the boost for that grueling shift . Being a part of a medical team feels comfortable now , and I have been fortunate enough to share many dear moments with total strangers , as well as some with those I know and love .
When I first began my medical journey , I was certain I would support people on their worst days . Growing up , no one went to the doctor because they were fine , so that is what I believed most of my life . My family made that 45-minute drive from their farm to Lexington exclusively to see specialists for a plethora of advanced-stage pathologies . With this mindset , I never anticipated how much joy was to come from this career . And I am so happy I didn ’ t because discovering this unanticipated beauty is the reason I love going to school . Finding the gems of positivity and inspiration in patient encounters fuels me . I love getting to know my patients as people . It ’ s the best when complimenting someone ’ s nail polish or cool shoes leads to conversation about interests . I love telling someone that the biopsy was negative , that the CT scan was unremarkable . Yes , your medication side effect is treatable . When I got to ask , “ Would you like to hear your baby ’ s heartbeat for the first time ?” I was blown away by the rush of disbelief and love washing over the mother ’ s face . I like using the correct pronouns and creating a safe space , and reading Nanna ’ s results to her and knowing exactly what they mean . I love explaining to her how her medicines work .
I could fill this page with the wonders of the last eight years , and I am totally aware that I probably sound cheesier than my latenight pizza , but I mean it . I mean them all . I know my rose-colored adoration for medicine will be challenged by the years and personal sacrifice I will pour into it over time . But I pray that I never lose my inspiration for advocacy and strength I found in Dr . G , or the patience and understanding of chronic illness I learned from my family . Now , when I meet a new patient , I have 15 minutes to show them what these eight years of education have taught me . I have 15 minutes to treat them like I treat my first and forever favorite patient , Nanna .
Dr . Eskridge is a graduate of the University of Louisville School of Medicine , now an OB-GYN PGY-1 at the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley ’ s Border & Underserved Obstetric Leadership Development program .
This essay was a submission to the 2022 Richard Spear , MD , Memorial Essay Contest .
December 2022 19