Louisville Medicine Volume 70, Issue 7 | Page 19

INFLUENCERS IN MEDICINE
cared for as well . I never could have expected I would feel this way as a volunteer .
One of his favorite pastimes was talking about slime . Few things made him light up the way talking about slime did . He also enjoyed making slime , but the mess and texture upset him , so I quickly realized that we could spend our afternoon planning the slime ingredients and have just as much fun . One of his favorite phrases was “ 10 ounces .” “ We need 10 ounces of shaving cream ,” he would say as I took notes . He once added , “ And ten thousand glitter glues !” “ Ten thousand ?” I questioned , making sure I heard him correctly . “ Yep !” he said with certainty . This made me chuckle and I wrote it down . I still have this note saved in my phone , and it makes me smile still to this day .
If K was ever having a bad day or frustrated with something , he would let out a huge dramatic sigh , throw up his hands , shake his head and exclaim , “ Jesus take the wheel !” The first time I heard him say that I was taken aback because it ’ s not the kind of thing a young child usually says . In many ways he was wise beyond his years and this saying has helped me through stressful times . When I know I ’ ve done my best or done all I can do , my mom will remind me to think like K and let “ Jesus take the wheel .” I was there to help K but I think in many ways he was the one helping me . He taught me little life lessons that have helped shape me into the person I am today .
When it came time to leave on my very last day , he was being treated inpatient for a recent illness right down the hall from the Child Life office . I was feeling very sad and teary eyed , but I thought I could keep my emotions at bay until I left . I was doing well until I started talking to the Child Life Specialist about my time as a volunteer . She thanked me for spending time with K , as many volunteers aren ’ t able to connect with him . In that moment , I lost control of my emotions and through hushed sobs I was able to say , “ I just can ’ t imagine that . He is such a special little boy .” At this point , both the Child Life Specialist and I were in tears and giving each other a final hug . K ran out of his room , passing his nurse and dad , into the hallway . He was only wearing a diaper , and no one was sure where his gown was . We giggled and wiped our faces and said , “ Where are your clothes , sir ?” He was completely unbothered by his lack of clothing and was more interested in starting up a conversation . I did my best to explain to him that I would be moving to another state and wouldn ’ t be coming back to see him for a while . He paused and thought really hard about what I had said . It was as if you could see the little gears turning in his head . He responded with , “ Okay , so you will be back next week ?” His eyes lit up with the notion that he would only have to wait a week . Holding back tears I explained , “ Not quite . It ’ s going to be a few weeks before I come back .” He replied quickly with excitement ,
“ Okay so the week after that ?” I smiled and softly responded “ Yeah , something like that .” He then extended his tiny hand , with an even tinier pinky , and said “ Pinky promise you ’ ll come back .” My eyes swelled and I happily pinky promised .
A few months later , I had the opportunity to help distribute Christmas gifts at the hospital and when I was finished , I went to the dialysis wing and spent some time with K . I was so happy to see him and get an update on what he was doing in school , how his family was doing and hear about his new favorite slime videos . It was like no time had passed at all .
When I left him that day , I left with the hope of coming back to visit him during a holiday break . But K had passed away after he lost his fight to COVID-19 . I grieved the death of my friend for months . For weeks I wondered if I ’ d ever be able to think of him and smile , instead of cry . But now when I think about him , I think of all the little things that made him such a big part of my life . His hat that seemed to swallow him up , his infectious laughter , his kindness , his obsession with slime – they were all small parts of what made him the special little boy he was , but added together made one of the largest personalities I ’ ve ever met . His little sayings and mannerisms make me smile when they visit my thoughts . I smile knowing a little part of him will always be with me .
And when I think about him , which I do often , I smile knowing I kept that not-so-little pinky promise . As doctors , we have the opportunity to affect people ’ s lives in more ways than just treating their ailments . K showed me that you can form fond memories from seemingly ordinary interactions . I hope to honor his memory by becoming a doctor who values my patients ’ well-being and spirit just as much as their physical health .
V . Ramsey Aldrich is a fourth-year medical student at the University of Louisville School of Medicine .
This essay was a submission to the 2022 Richard Spear , MD , Memorial Essay Contest .
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