MEDICINE OUTSIDE THE BOX
( continued from page 13 ) have a lot of feelings about him , he was in rehab , did wonderful , I gave him money , he sabotaged himself … his dad got him back on drugs . It hurts that a drug can have that much control over a person .”
We asked grandparents about experiences that contributed to them becoming grandparent guardians . One grandmother recalled how she had been in foster homes as a youth . She was “… abused , hit and mistreated . There was no love at all , more of a check for them than anything else . When I was younger , I went through foster care , I was determined that wouldn ’ t happen to my kids . I work hard . I do what I have to do to take care of the kids .” Another grandmother talked about her life as a young mother at 14 years of age . She had three children by the time she was 17 years old . She reports this experience “… prepared her for almost anything .” She knew her grandchildren ’ s mom had abused drugs . She had “ mentally prepared ” since the first baby was born . “ I felt like I needed to be ready . I tried to prepare for what was coming .” A grandfather explained his mom raised her kids by herself , she taught him the basics of life – “ Don ’ t always run from things , if you do something wrong , face it .” He was going to be there for his kids . “ I don ’ t know why my mom and dad went their separate ways . My dad came into my life as an adult . He missed out on some golden years . It made me strong .”
We wanted to know what grandparent guardians needed from their pediatric providers . Most grandparents were complimentary of their providers . Grandparents suggested to ask how they are doing , that they would like to know how other grandparent guardians are doing , to listen to their story , and to know their situation can be very stressful . One grandfather offered , “ Never had one that I didn ’ t think was very understanding … seeing the same doctor makes a
Resources for Kentucky Grandparents
Kinshipky . org Kinship Families Coalition of Kentucky
https :// kinshipky . org / handbook / A Kentucky Grandparent and Relative Caregiver Handbook
https :// www . kipda . org / social-services / grandparentsraising-grandchildren-program
https :// www . grandfamilies . org Kentucky GrandFacts State Fact Sheet 2021 big difference , someone who knows his baseline .” A grandmother described her experience at a recent clinic visit , “ They helped with concerns about pregnancy . Talked about having sex . I don ’ t want another child to care for . We had a good talk ; the girls are on birth control … I never thought in a million years I would be having that talk with them .” A grandfather offered his advice to providers , “ Keep believing , be a bright light on the other side of darkness . It is going to get better .” A grandmother summarized , “ Love ’ s the cure .”
Grandparents also offered advice for others who are new to grandchild caregiving and had many thoughts to share : “ God sent them to us for a reason , hang in there and do the best you can .”
“ Do what needs to be done day to day , you may think life is over , it will be a totally different life .”
“ Therapy for everyone involved would be a big plus … resolve issues before things get out of proportion .”
“ Search into all the help you can get , do your own research , don ’ t let the courts decide for you .”
“ Love and raise them as though they are the most precious thing on earth , the kids don ’ t have to come into this world .”
“ It may be difficult , but don ’ t give up . It takes time and patience . The kids need stability , don ’ t let them go into the system . Do what you can to make them happy .”
“ It will be the best thing they ’ ve ever done , especially for the grandchild , the rest falls right into place .”
“ Make sure to ask questions , what can they have and not have , stay persistent , keep your eye on the goals , I can see a difference now from when they first came and now . A whole year , my load is getting lighter .”
References :
1
More Kentucky grandparents taking in kids , with little aid ( courier-journal . com )
2
Kinshipky . org
3
Relatives raising kids need our help , Norma Hatfield , editorial Courier Journal , Sunday , February 9 , 2020 .
4 https :// www . courier-journal . com / story / news / politics / 2016 / 03 / 10 / kinshipcare-cuts-hurt-grandparents-kids / 80294460 /
Dr . Pfitzer is a former Associate Professor and pediatrician of 17 years with the University of Louisville and Norton Children ’ s Medical Group ( NCMG ).
Dr . Stiff practices General Pediatrics at NCMG-Stonestreet and is an Associate Professor at the University of Louisville where she is currently serving as Interim Division Chief of General Pediatrics . https :// prd . webapps . chfs . ky . gov / kyfaces / Kinship / GSG Grandparent Support Groups
https :// www . gu . org / explore-our-topics / grandfamilies / state-of-grandfamilies-in-america-annual-reports /
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