Five Things to Count on One Hand
by GEETA GANESH , MD
When I was young , I could count on one hand what mattered to me most : Dad , Mom , my brother , my sister and me . Each finger represented one of us , and my palm was home in the middle . Home was my safe place , and I never felt alone .
Despite this great sense of security , a strange thought popped into my head at the age of 9 : I ’ m getting older . That means my parents are getting older too . One day they won ’ t be here anymore . One day , I ’ ll be alone . After several minutes of panic , I eventually calmed down , but the unsettling idea of my parents dying remained with me .
If years go by without something happening , your mind begins to play a trick on you . Maybe that thing you were dreading will never happen . Maybe my parents won ’ t die . What a foolish thought !
The day was November 10 , 2021 . My brother began sending texts , one after the other .
Dad has neck pain , feels sick , hurts all over . Mom is taking him to the hospital .
We ’ re in the ED . Dad lost his pulse . They are doing CPR . Please pray .
His heart is beating now . He had a heart attack . Getting ready to take him to cath lab .
I was only able to feel a few seconds of relief . More messages came through .
His pressure is dropping . They ’ ve started CPR again . No pulse , no cardiac activity , CPR continuing . Don ’ t call . And then the words I didn ’ t ever want to hear or see . Dad has passed away . My dad was gone . 82 years of life gone in less than 30 minutes .
The next days were a blur . A total disconnected feeling took over me . Arms and legs walking through airports . Numb from head to toe . And my hands , they just drifted away .
I am alone . No one can help me now . Two days after the funeral , I was back home . I finally became
18 LOUISVILLE MEDICINE