2022 RICHARD SPEAR , MD , MEMORIAL ESSAY CONTEST Practicing & Life Member Category Winner
EVERYWHERE by KRIS BARNSFATHER , MD , MBA , FACOG
Today we are 20 years in to my second career , two years in to everyone ’ s pandemic and a lifetime in to seeking joy . It ’ s not easy to bring me joy . I ’ m logical , and fairly unemotional . I ’ m a planner , not a responder . My previous career as a high school teacher helped me keep a level head and a solid oral filter . Those skills leak into my second career . They allow me to respond quickly in emergencies and stay focused . But there are consequences to that . Over time I feel the struggle to find joy grow greater as my daily grind grows more demanding . Some might wonder why I don ’ t go for a third career . Well , I did go back for an MBA , because , hey , you just never know , right ?
So where is the joy ? Everywhere . It ’ s everywhere . I don ’ t feel it every minute of every day , but it ’ s still everywhere . I remembered that recently when I went to a bar for the first time in two years to hear live music . Ah , live music . Boy , have I missed live music . There were so many people moving to the beat not caring about the stressors outside . I spent two hours being one of those people . I sang out loud like no one else was there . I danced in my spot until my feet and knees ached . I stayed focused on the band to my right until I casually looked to my left out the second story window . We were in Nashville and there were people milling about including the homeless-looking man and woman with their belongings on the sidewalk . They were smiling , laughing and talking to everyone . They were petting their dog and dancing to the music coming through the windows . Their joy was infectious even across the street and up a flight of stairs . It was 40 degrees and drizzling rain . I found myself smiling , not at them , but with them . Their appearance doesn ’ t indicate a cushy and warm life with luxuries , but they were still enjoying their lives .
30-year marriage to a great person and a job that I wouldn ’ t trade . I broke through the logical barrier my brain puts up and took a minute to think about what makes me happy . Teaching makes me happy and I have a mountain ’ s worth of opportunity there when I ’ m in the clinic . Being the very first person to touch another human as they enter the world makes me happy ( yes , even at 2:00 a . m .). Spending hours in the operating room where I get to work inside of people and try to make their life better makes me happy . Seeing the relief I bring when talking to the family after surgery , letting them know everything went well and the patient will be better , makes me happy . Every now and then , I get to literally save a life . That makes me grateful .
I looked around wondering how many other people picked a career where they can say that ? I ’ m sure there were some , but likely not many .
That day inside a bar , listening to a great band play music that covered 40 years , I found myself thinking about how lucky I am that my life has brought me to this place where I can still find joy at work . I know I still have it when I ’ m pushing for three hours with a family in the middle of the night . I could lie down and have the nurse push with her until she ’ s crowning . I could , but I don ’ t . The connection , the teaching , the coaching , the celebration , the tears , the joy . It ’ s there every day , everywhere . I don ’ t consider what I do my calling or my purpose . That indicates that I was meant to do this and that settles that . I consider what I do a gift . I chose teaching over medicine to have four kids . We had too many miscarriages to count . That led me to medical school . Medical school led me to a provider who took a shot at something that ultimately got us our son . My joy could have stopped there at finally being the parent I wanted to be . The job would just be a job . But it didn ’ t stop there . It keeps going day after day and can be found Everywhere .
Dr . Barnsfather is an OB-GYN with Norton Women ’ s Health .
I began to think about my life . I have a great 19-year-old son , a
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