Bunco , Bingo , Banco
The tables were set up . The dice were poised . The women were mingling waiting for the arrival of the full complement to play Bunco . Tonight , we ’ d have three tables needing 12 players . I had signed up to play Bunco with the nurses on our unit as part of the once per month attempts at getting together . I have always felt that building relationships both on and off the unit helps with communication , trust and work product . As part of their group , I have made wood art projects , taken Halloween tours around the city and missed a cooking class that I wanted to attend due to work . A few other docs have participated with the events along the way .
Earlier in the week , a provider in our office mentioned that a band she knows that plays old rock and blues was getting together in a little place in New Albany , Indiana . I ’ m a sucker for good live music , so I double committed myself and hoped for the best . Given that I ’ m often expected to be in two if not sometimes three places at once while working , I figured we could get ‘ er done . My husband offered to drop me off at the game night house and he would go back home , change clothes and return to get me on the way to Indiana later that night .
I entered the house thinking I would take advantage of this time and get to know the newer nurses better . I would learn a new game ( having never played Bunco ), and I would show a glimpse of the “ not work ” person my friends know me to be . While parts of “ not work me ” leak into “ work me ” and vice versa , those times aren ’ t often . The intensity of the work deems it so .
I learned that we were one person short to have the full teams of four required to play and called my husband asking him to return so he could play . He chuckled and said no . He didn ’ t want to play a dice game with a bunch of women he had never met . Twenty minutes later he texted and told me he had changed clothes and if we needed a person still , he would be willing to play . So , we waited for him .
Now I shouldn ’ t have to tell you how my heart filled at this point . His willingness to be a part of that night was not lost on me .
by KRIS BARNSFATHER , MD
He earned big husband points with just a couple hours of his time . He returned that night to play and would not admit if he enjoyed himself . I chose not to push for an answer . The nurses had fun , and my goal was achieved .
While I don ’ t think it is necessary to be everyone ’ s friend at work , or do everything together outside of work to have a well-run labor and delivery unit , I do think that the occasional “ I ’ m human too ” interaction helps . It opens lines of communication with people that may otherwise shut down . That night the directions on how to play came from one nurse who wrung her hands while telling us the rules stating she didn ’ t like public speaking . I was reminded of all that people have to overcome and conquer to do what we do at the hospital . Two weeks later , that same nurse and I joked a bit on the unit . That would never have happened without Bunco . That joking session turned into a teaching moment on something she wanted to know . Again , wouldn ’ t have happened without the time together outside of work . This is a tough time to be in health care at all levels . Investing more time and energy doesn ’ t always seem like a step forward . With selection and strategy , it can be .
One week after Bunco , the sign-up for the night of dice for March went up , with more people wanting to play than the first night . I offered to host . At dinner that night I told my husband we would be hosting the second Bunco night . I asked if he wanted to play . He HESITATED . Well , well , well . I waited . I wanted to mock . I wanted to joke . I wanted to give him a hard time when he said , “ Well , don ’ t count on me being a regular .” So , the big guy enjoyed himself . BINGO ! He then offered to be the bartender if we didn ’ t need him to play .
The game itself lasted two hours . Just two hours of dice rolling , laughs roaring and relationships soaring . How do you invest your time ? How do you build a working environment that improves your work life as well as others ? Only you can answer those questions . For me , winning my first Bunco night , establishing my humanity and getting to know the people I trust my career with , seemed like a good investment . In fact , I will take it to the Banco .
Dr . Barnsfather is an OB-GYN with Norton Women ’ s Health .
May 2023 17