FEATURE
THE MOTHERS
AUTHOR Kaitlin S . Gordon , MD
I
have watched more people die from complications related to opioid addiction than anything else in my short career practicing internal medicine . The scene of a young person surrounded by family , dying from addiction is part of my daily life . I ’ ve shed tears with moms , hugged many dads and gotten used to discussing prognosis to devastated families .
Watching this has made me hug my own kids tighter and beg the universe to spare them from addiction . It became my normal - but then things drastically changed in the spring of 2020 . I watched my routine crumble as COVID-19 rolled into Louisville , Kentucky . Everyone in the hospital was alone . COVID-19 restrictions would not allow any visitors .
During the summer , I was on the inpatient hospital service . I had been on the medical wards since the onset of the pandemic and knew what to expect : tireless days of disinfecting , mask wearing , calling families and rounding on COVID-19 patients who were struggling to breathe .
Then I met Sarah , Brittney and Sam .* Three moms , just like me . Three women , struggling with addiction .
Sarah : I cared for her body for a week , but we never spoke . A seemingly small bit of bacteria on the end of a dirty needle showered infection throughout her entire body . The septic emboli filled her brain with blood and she died . Her soul died in the intensive care unit but her otherwise healthy body remained in the hospital for a week . I checked on her daily to make sure she was comfortable . A few days in , I called her mom and found out she had three children . Her 12 , 9 and 6-year-old sat at home , waiting for the call that their mom had died . They were unable to say goodbye due to visitation restrictions . Her mom and I talked for a long time about what Sarah was like as a kid , about how hard it is to raise her grandchildren and how it wasn ’ t supposed to turn out this way . We convinced each other the kids were better off not having to see their mom like that . But now , I am not so sure .
Brittney : I met a shell of what Brittney once was . She was dying of AIDS in 2020 , and that is a sentence that should no longer be written . As a person with substance use disorder , she contracted the disease from needle sharing and did not present for care until it was too late . She came to me with an aggressive B Cell Lymphoma eating away her brain one cell at a time . Her 70-pound body withered away , unable to put up a fight . I sat at her bedside daily while she told me about her four kids , all under the age of 10 . We talked about what could have been for her life and our hopes that her babies will be okay . They couldn ’ t come give mom one last hug before she died .
24 LOUISVILLE MEDICINE