REFLECTIONS
REFLECTIONS: PEARLS, ANYONE?
AUTHOR Teresita Bacani-Oropilla, MD
A
t twilight, he came to the door
of his parents’ home carrying his
5-month-old son in a baby carrier.
“We are spending the night here,”
he announced. “My wife is on
call.” A medical resident in his
late twenties, the couple were
alternating care of their baby between the
consuming demands of their work. Raising
children at the same time required resolve, energy, flexibility and
perseverance.
How do young doctor duos survive? In a modern society where
many extended families have disintegrated into nuclear ones, thus
living geographically apart from each other, help from kin can no
longer be relied upon.
Couples have to be innovative, using a patchwork of daycare,
babysitters, part-time or full-time nannies and childrens’ schools.
In a previous generation, it was unheard of for a 2-year-old toddler
to go to school. Now they do! These require precise schedules of
pickups and transfers, however, so the child is never alone.
Contrast these with some professionals who, having halfway
raised their children in other parts of the world, come to the US and
experience the realities of personally caring for every little detail and
need of their child. It comes as a jolt and taxes their human ingenuity.
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LOUISVILLE MEDICINE
In the Philippines and other Eastern cultures, vestiges of a system
of hierarchy still exist where children are cared for by live-in helpers
who become part of the family. These “yayas” help raise the child,
sometimes from babyhood, taking care of their needs with close
supervision from their parents, so the latter can go about their
professional and sundry activities unencumbered. This reassures
them their child is safe and progressing well. Most yayas leave when
the child becomes self-sufficient, although many are given the
opportunity to pursue their own careers for a better status in life.
Every day, people have to make choices. Some are banal and
affect daily living and style. Others are so momentous however that
they set the course for their futures. Some are time sensitive and
have to be made right here and now. We must not make the mistake
of missing the opportunity when the time comes, lest we regret it.
The resident physician bringing his sleeping baby is of this
modern society and generation. Although raised with loving
attendant yayas at his beck and call, he now had to do the raising
of his own by the new circumstances of America.
But lustrous pearls are always bought at a great price, to then
keep and treasure for a lifetime. That’s their value!
Pearls, anyone?
Dr. Bacani-Oropilla is a retired psychiatrist.