REFLECTIONS
Reflections
TRANSITIONS
Teresita Bacani-Oropilla, MD
R
etired life rolls merrily along for
many. Pushing 80 or 90 is a happy
time for most. Still able to drive,
we attend meetings, reunions and
family events, are prized as con-
sultants, and do charity and church work. We
travel. We are treated with love and deference,
deserved or not, because of our ages, who and
get free rides of joy.
All must take advantage of and enjoy, because these privileges
can change in a week, maybe a day, or in the twinkle of an eye! So
fragile have some bodies become that a little mishap will stop us in
our tracks. One member of a conglomeration of body systems that
got along perfectly well before, suddenly balks. Like the legendary
straw that broke the camel’s back, this literally happens as when
one of the osteoporotic cracker thin vertebrae in one’s back gives
up and collapses!
Aaaauuughhh! Then pain exacerbated by any movement ensues.
Getting out of bed or walking to the table to eat become excruciating
chores. Workups are followed by general anesthesia, surgical proce-
dures, rehab to restore weakened muscles, and assisted living because
one is now unable to care for oneself. The house of cards has fallen
flat! A broken femur, a mild cerebral infarct, a leaking heart valve,
a urethral stone, a mild case of the flu, even a foot wound can start
a cascade - nay, an avalanche - of woes that one never imagined. It
could begin the transition to another way of life.
In a country like ours, where extended families have broken
into nuclear ones, and older members are living longer lives, the
care of the latter has become a dilemma for all. Once vigorous
self-supporting elders, still clear of mind, full of enthusiasm and
not really ready to give up on the business of life, unfortunately, are
not safe to live alone. It is not lack of love or caring, nor even lack
of sustenance funds in many cases. It is lack of time.
Many couples or singles in assisted living are there after careful
deliberation of all concerned. The sandwich generation of active
working children and grandchildren have to maintain precarious
schedules themselves that definitely cannot include daily time-con-
suming routines of checking in on elderly, suddenly handicapped
relatives.
It is painful for all. It can entail the necessary breaking up of
an ancestral home where now adult grandchildren had their own
“blankies” hidden in some closet, the giving up of rare one-of-a-kind
treasure collected from travels in foreign countries, the trophies
and mementos of retirements from prestigious positions, or the
folded flag given to a widow at her husband’s military funeral. When
transition comes, these have to go, and to where?
We hope it will be a safe and comfortable place, maybe a room
with an alert bell around one’s neck if we fall or cannot get out of bed.
The assisted living homes and staff that inherit these newly
“displaced” try their very best to preserve the dignity of their new
charges. They are assured safety, reminded if they forget meals or to
nourish themselves, helped with self-care, entertained so they don’t
get bored, and exercised so they maintain physical skills.
It is indeed a transition, a choice among many others. It is
something to think about, plan for and be prepared for. It also takes
the courage of the brave to go through and accept it.
But who says old people are wimps? This is just another bump
in the rocky road of life, on which we are already veterans! We will
get over it!
Dr. Bacani-Oropilla is a retired psychiatrist.
NOVEMBER 2018
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