REFLECTIONS
Reflections
ABOUT FUNERALS
Teresita Bacani-Oropilla, MD
E
very man is mortal and passes through
this earth just once. What we do with
our lives affects not only those near and
dear to us, but leaves an imprint on others
forever.
The almost simultaneous celebrations of
the lives of Princess Diana and Mother Teresa
of Calcutta in the fall of 1997, and of Senator
John McCain and the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, of more re-
cent vintage, the fall of 2018, point out the wide latitude of virtues
and failings of the people that we choose to honor. No one needs
to be perfect, but simply have admirable qualities for us to emulate.
Funerals in most cultures, ancient or modern, civilized or prim-
itive, are meant to promote peace and acceptance of the honored
one. They shock our complacency and make us aware of that which
we are taking for granted, and that which really matters.
They should redirect our courses towards more productive, less
tumultuous or destructive attainment of our goals. They become
clarion calls to action.
On a more common level, witness the extreme pain, recrimina-
tions and desperate mourning that occurs with increasing loss of
lives from drug overdoses, homicides and suicides we now encoun-
ter. The verdict “Death” is so final, irreversible and so sad.
Seemingly unpreventable shootings and killings in places once
called “safe,” and the seeming inability to restore order by anyone,
causes fear and hopelessness - a hopelessness that paralyzes.
Unrivaled, however, is the dual agony of those who left life by
their own hand and those they left behind. Questions and answers
are past relevance. Explanations are not possible. Peace and accep-
tance will have to gradually filter in to soothe the broken-hearted.
The recent public funerals we participated in, John McCain
and Aretha Franklin’s, have also reminded us that peaceful, loving,
conciliatory as well as deeply painful, resentful memories can be
expressed in a civilized manner. We have seen that this expression
is not passé, but still “cool” and expected. The proper expression
of these thoughts and feelings befits the noble status of Man as in
command of himself and this world.
Funerals are celebrations that leave us connected to beloved
and revered ones and reassure us of the continued redemption of
our future.
Dr. Bacani-Oropilla is a retired psychiatrist.
OCTOBER 2018
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