FEATURE
THE PERSONAL Sacrifice
Andrea Breaux, MD
When you ask someone what you must sacrifice to become a physician, you get several standard answers. Most of these pertain to material or readily measurable things. You will sacrifice money, hundreds and thousands of dollars of it. You will sacrifice your youth, the greater part of your 20s and early 30s. You will sacrifice peaceful nights at home in your bed, uninterrupted by the screech of a pager. You will sacrifice weekends, holidays, weddings, birthdays and countless other events with friends and family. It is unquestionably true that you will sacrifice these things, and you will continue to do so throughout your career, at least to some degree. In reality though, you will sacrifice something much more, something that you do not hear about when considering a career in medicine. It is something you will not even realize you sacrificed until you are well into your training and trying to hit your stride in medicine.
When I made the decision to apply for medical school, I did not question the number of years, amount of time, or amount of money that I would be investing. After all, I had always enjoyed school, I knew others would be in the same position regarding debt, and as a 19-year-old the road did not seem so long. So, I sacrificed my time and spent countless hours studying. I turned down many invitations to go out in the evening or go on weekend trips. I watched as my friends’ careers started to blossom and they began buying houses, starting families and moving wherever they wanted. There were certainly times that I felt the strain of this sacrifice and wondered why I had chosen medicine when others seemed just as content in their career, were doing fulfilling and important things to contribute to society, and had a life outside of their work. I was not terribly fazed though and believed it was simply part of the process of becoming a doctor. During my fourth year of medical school, while I obsessed over the match process, I felt my sacrifices had been worth it. However, I was exasperated by the fact that no matter how much effort I had put in, I might not match where I wanted to for residency. My now husband, also a physician, was a year ahead of me in school. We felt as though we had such little control that we could not even count on a shared bed for years. Thankfully this worked out, and we both matched exactly where we wanted to be, together. As we started our residencies, all the sacrifices we had made up to this point faded into the background, and we diligently did our jobs, knowing full well that residency would be the toughest yet. It was not until something unpredictable happened that I realized what it was that I had sacrificed to become a physician.
During my second year of residency, I realized I was in the wrong specialty. My chosen field was not a good fit for my personality or strengths, and I did not see myself practicing after residency in
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