REFLECTIONS
Reflections WHAT WILL OUR BABIES BE?
Teresita Bacani-Oropilla, MD
Years ago, at an intimate after-work party of young international junior faculty members, a mother asked of another who was cuddling her sleepy baby,“ What is your baby girl going to be?” Taken aback, the latter, a several generation local American, said she had not even thought about it.
It took some explaining to introduce her to the idea that in some cultures, parents assess the assets, the beauty and the talents of their children and designate what they might become in the future. Thus, while they are growing, the engineer designee may be praised for his alacrity in math and reprimanded on his quickness to break down his toys, but commended for his ability to reconstruct them. A future entertainer is encouraged to take dancing or piano lessons or allowed to drive everyone crazy with his drum or trumpet practice. A future physician or nurse will be given stethoscopes and tools of the trade. Care must be taken that they don’ t actually do myringotomy on their siblings. Foresters and surveyors are sent to boy scout explorations. Admittedly, many do not end up as firemen and astronauts, their first choice, and care must be taken to discourage them from flying off the roof with their Superman capes. But, the seed has been planted. They are going to be somebody good and useful in future days to come. There is a goal to reach. In some schools, at kindergarten graduation, five and six-year-olds are encouraged to announce,“ I am going to be an engineer like my Daddy” when their turn comes at the microphone.
Back to the present: at the beginning of summer, formal classes end and graduation exercises are rife. Schools invite speakers that encourage their graduates to aim for the skies. Most revealing was attending an 8th grade graduation ceremony in an outstanding upscale private school. It was obvious these children were not brought up in want. On the contrary, they had been given all the opportunities for success. As these budding teenagers presented themselves and recounted their experiences, it was obvious they had absorbed the values their mentors had instilled in them, and indeed they had goals at such an early stage for their futures. In return, the expectations from their parents, peers and themselves were so high that a more indulgent society might object and call them overachievers.
Most have had extracurricular activities in athletics, public speaking or the study of languages. Many have travelled, been exposed to cultural presentations as well as the poverty and deprivation of poorer countries. They have joined missions and have realized the advantages and how rich our country is. Obviously, they are inadvertently absorbing the fact that they must be leaders and providers if they must improve conditions for the less fortunate. They are the apples that fall not far from their parents’ tree.
In our queasy and turbulent world of today, ideology and expectations of what our young are going to be are of utmost importance. A baby raised to believe to do unto others what you would want done to you, will live life on this principle. On the other hand, a baby taught to believe the world is against him and his kind and must retaliate‘ til he dominates, will act likewise.
Which will it be? What will our babies be? What paths will they take? It is never too early to plant seeds on fertile ground.
P. S. The little baby in her mother’ s arms of years ago is a practicing physician and faculty member at a university hospital. Her parents are proud. Did they plant seeds?
Dr. Oropilla is a retired psychiatrist.
JULY 2017 25