Louisville Medicine Volume 65, Issue 10 | Page 29

OPINION DOCTORS Lounge down on the bed and josh the patient, tease them, say something outrageous. But then he would settle the person, gentle while examining, thorough in explaining. In other words, he treated them the way he always treats people, sick or well. He treated them where they were, for whom they were, be- fore and after the diagnosis, but always with that instant recognition of the surreal and the silly. So I always vowed, as an intern, to Be Like Kevin. Dr. Bowler teaches the same lesson. Talk to Me, not cancer sufferer. Talk to Me, not lady stuck in the wheelchair. Talk to Me, not this stick of a person who can barely eat but hey, I’m laughing. Talk to Me, not to my spouse who is demented, but looks healthier than I am. Talk to Me, not my daughter the doctor or my son the teacher. Talk to Me, I can still look at you with my eyes and you can read what they say. Talk to Me, I can’t speak, but I can still hear you, and know that you still know me. You’re you, 'til you’re not. Sometimes, you get so demented that you are unrecog- nizable to those you loved. Sometimes, as Dr. Christian Furman teaches, you no longer know your face in the mirror, but you know yourself in old pictures. That is a double sort of death, for you feel unloved. Your family’s hearts break over and over that you are lost to them while still alive. STAY Connected You’re you, until you’re not. When we die, they who loved us remember us. We live on in their hearts. They tell stories we’re in. They keep pictures of us close. The pain of loss is permanent. It becomes part of us, buffered by love and memories. But while we’re still here, says Dr. Kate Bowler – take a good look, and see us as our real selves. Then you’ll know what to say. Dr. Barry practices Internal Medicine with Norton Community Medical Associates-Bar- ret. She is a clinical associate professor at the University of Louisville School of Medicine, Department of Medicine. facebook.com/Greater-Louisville-Medical-Society with GLMS between publications www.glms.org @LouMedSociety Contact [email protected] for more information @LouMedSociety linkedin.com/groups/Greater-Louisville-Medical-Society MARCH 2018 27