enough to register what was going on around him , he realized that his father ( Papaw ) was a drinker and could be violent when drunk . He described Mamaw as an equally violent non-drunk with a mouth that would make a sailor proud . The children learned to fend for themselves , but no matter how things continued to deteriorate at home , the family stayed together and presented a united front on their frequent trips back home to Jackson . Jimmy and Bev finished high school in Middletown and although precarious , their lives seemed good to the outside observer .
J . D . and Mamaw in 2004
J . D . learned that his mom was a good student in school . She was salutatorian of her high school graduating class but college was out of the question because she was already pregnant before graduation and insisted on marrying her boyfriend . ( All we learn of him is that his last name was Lewis . He was Lindsay ’ s father .) After a year of turbulent marriage which included physical abuse , Bev filed for divorce . At 19 , she was a single mom . Determined to do right for her child , she planned her future as a nurse . She acquired an associate degree in nursing and seemed to be on track for some degree of success in life . In 1983 she married Don Bowman , and in 1984 J . D . was born . The Bowman family lived just up the block from Mamaw and Papaw , in Middletown . Whether this was by luck or by design we don ’ t know , but it was a safety valve for Lindsay and J . D . Also , for reasons no one was able to explain to J . D ., Papaw stopped drinking in 1983 . He was still earning good money at Armco . He seemed determined to make up for all his shortcomings as a father and young husband , and Lindsay and J . D . would be the beneficiaries of this for as long as he remained alive .
One of the fondest memories J . D . recounts of his mother was her devotion to education . “ Nothing brought her greater joy than when I finished a book or asked for another .” He recalls her starting to work fulltime as a nurse when he was seven or eight . He recalls letting her practice drawing blood on his “ youthful veins .” According to the cultural code in southwest Ohio and the even more deeply entrenched code of the Kentucky Hillbillies , mother jokes and insults were not allowed to go unchallenged . It was Mamaw who taught J . D . how and when to fight and , as he recounts in somewhat gleeful detail , Mamaw , who had grown up in Jackson with five brothers , knew exactly what her grandson needed to know . He won his first bloody nose at five , defending his mom ’ s honor . Mamaw remained his guide and counselor in all things pugilistic until he left for Marine Boot Camp at the age of 18 .
Bev and Don Bowman divorced in 1985 , and Bev married for the third time a couple of years later . The new husband was Bob Hamel . Around this time , J . D .’ s father Don gave him up for adoption to Bob . This included a name change . J . D . was now James David Hamel . All memory of Don needed to be erased in Bev ’ s mind . The David was arbitrary but J . D . was J . D . ( pronounced “ Jay-dot-Dee-dot ” by
some of his great uncles ) and the D had to stand for something . Bob and Bev moved their family a few blocks farther away from Mamaw and Papaw , but daily visits to his grandparents were still part of the ritual of J . D .’ s young life . Papaw became a math coach for his grandson . Life was OK until J . D . was about nine-years-old . Then came “ The Move .” Bev and Bob wanted to get away from Mamaw and Papaw . They bought a place in Preble County - Ohio farm country - approximately 35 miles from Middletown . J . D . and Lindsay were devastated and life started to unravel quickly .
To say that the Hamels were having marital difficulties was to put it mildly . Despite having substantial income , with Bob a hard-working well-paid trucker and Bev working fulltime at the local hospital , they squandered their money on expensive items they didn ’ t need . Their fights turned violent , not unlike the fights that Bev herself had witnessed between her parents when she was growing up . Not only was Bev capable of the same kind of violence as Mamaw , she was drinking like Papaw . And even when sober her behavior was often erratic . She became involved with a firefighter she met at the hospital emergency room . Eventually Bob found out and confronted her . Her response was to take her new minivan and crash it in an attempt to commit suicide . No one really bought the story , especially Mamaw who , when she arrived at the hospital to find out what was going on , was apparently heard to say that it was all show . According to Mamaw , if Bev had really wanted to kill herself she just had to come over to Mamaw ’ s place and take any one of her dozen or so guns .
Bob Hamel left . Steve the firefighter moved in and J . D . and Lindsay were supposed to welcome their new father figure . School became an afterthought , all semblance of family life disappeared and during one argument between the young J . D . and his mother , she forced him into her car , threatening to kill them both . Fortunately the troopers
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