REFLECTIONS
SEX, A POLITE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION?
Teresita Bacani-Oropilla, MD
I
had been told that in polite company, certain
topics were taboo, namely politics and religion. These, perchance, might ignite one’s
deepest beliefs and lead to heated and emotional exchanges. Through the years however,
one’s individual experiences can either contest
or attest to the veracity of this premise.
In retrospect, another topic that is rich fodder for thought and discussion is “sex.” At the annual fall meeting
of the CATO Society, composed of retired and venerable elder
physicians of our community, the topic was “Sexuality in Seniors.”
A young urologist, Dr. Ganesh Kartha, discussed the medical and
psychological aspects of aging, how these affect sexual expression,
and suggestions on how these can be ameliorated. Could he have
opened the topic of sex in polite company?
In the early 1970’s, a pediatrician teaching fifth graders about sex
and the anticipated changes during puberty, noted that the 10 and
11-year-olds were curious about how to handle their body changes
and had fears about menarche and the mood changes that some of
their friends were going through. Some parents objected to the idea
that someone outside of their families was shattering the “innocence”
of their children. After some of these sat through the classes, and
proclaimed them “safe,” the parents gave permission for their kids
to continue attending them.
Times have changed. Many children at this age have been exposed
to knowledge about sex from various sources and for their safety have
to be warned and protected from false information. Once this was
considered private information in a one-on-one discussion with their
physicians. Older generations have been appalled by advertisements
for tampons, vaginal creams and erection-enhancing pills shown
on TV for all to see. These ads may need further explanations for
younger uninitiated audiences, children who might worry that the
advertised side effects of these medicines may affect the beloved older
members of their families. They may also wonder if it’s appropriate
for them to start using such things themselves!
Attitudes about sexual freedom, competition among adolescents
for partners, fidelity, pregnancy, the spread of STDs, and how sex
can affects one’s future, need to be addressed among our adolescents.
Vulnerable members of a growing group of an older and lonely
generation who may decide to join the fray could use a review of
some of these topics themselves.
Many people among us were raised and are proponents of the
belief that at birth, one is endowed with the gifts of health, beauty,
intelligence, sex and character; that these gifts must be nurtured to
blossom into fruition. To misuse, abuse, or ignore these gifts is thus
an omission of one’s duty in life. This is a tall order indeed.
We recognize the importance of the topic of sex in our social
lives, the joys of love and sharing, of selection of future mates, of
celebrating the rituals of engagement, marriage, anniversaries and
arrival of progeny. Yet we have contentious opinions on same sex
marriages, LGBT rights, bathroom privileges, military equality, the
right to succession, abortion rights, pornography and prostitution.
These cause headlines and even continue to clog our court systems.
Can we say more?
It is evident that indeed there are many aspects related to sex that
can be discussed. After all, sex is part of the core of our being. Can
we therefore discuss it reasonably in polite society, or should we
relegate it to the realm of the taboo?
Dr. Oropilla is a retired psychiatrist.
OCTOBER 2016
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