The world is slowly spinning around, non-stop, with no stopping or end in sight. Just spinning, spinning, spinning.
Welcome to Highland City.
Good morning, listeners. A lovely summer day, no? Well, almost. Summer is slowly crawling to an end, like a corpse slowly dragging itself toward someone in a world vaguely similar to The Walking Dead. Or, fastly, sort-of running, screaming after you. Depending on your point of view.
So, as fall is coming near, and school is returning for everyone, I thought I would share a few "Fall Survival Tips" to help you survive school, and life, until next summer.
1. Avoiding mobs? Stay away from certain places, such as the malls at Christmas time, stores on Black Friday, and the days before large holidays in need of unnecessarily copious amounts of food, and, most importantly, Starbucks in October, which I feel needs no explanation.
2. When in school, be careful. The City Council long ago banned writing utensils, and paper to write on, so choose how you take notes wisely. And, make sure you choose a school which follows the strict rules of no wheat, or its by-products.
3. Avoid the libraries. We all know librarians are dangerous beings, ready to eat you, or your friend, when you're just looking for a copy of The Cursed Child, or To Kill a Mockingbird for school reading. So I would recommend just shopping online instead.
And now, an interview.
What a surprise! We have a very special guest here today, to promote a new comic. Welcome, Alex! Say hello to the listeners!
"Yo."
So, tell us about your new comic! Will there be action? Romance? Mysterious, lurking figures, hiding in the shadows?
"It's basically a coming of age story about two friends. They live in the wasteland that they call their lives. Oh, and they tell stories to pass the time. And there may or may not be mysterious figures."
Sounds fantastic! Anything else you'd like to tell the listeners about your comic?
"If you make fan-art, keep it PG-13."
Always sound advice. Anyways, that's all the time we have for today. Thank you for stopping by for an interview, Alex!
"Anytime."
And now, for some breaking news.
People are heading off to informational meetings, you know, for the coming school year? And coming back… changed. They’re ready to leave the fun, and relaxing atmosphere of summer, and actually want to head back to the stressful, and frankly not fun atmosphere of school. Sheriff's Secret Police are still trying to figure out what is causing this sudden change in mood, and occasional appearance.
If you see people carrying laptops, and other, various school supplies, trying to talk about academic
things to you, and have grown large, black dragon wings, then run. Run. Run like it’s Street Cleaning Day. Hide in your homes, until we get more information from the City Council and Sheriff's Secret Police about this new, dangerous disease.
And now, a word from our sponsor.
Anarchy. Chaos. Death. Leaked songs
and albums. Avoiding jail.
This message has been brought to you
by the new movie “Suicide
Squad”, out on August 5th.
Listeners, school is a terrifying place. Random presentations, awful cafeteria food, teachers that resemble sharks by how they act AND by their physical appearance sometimes. But it’s not
all bad. There’s friends, and hanging out,
and working hard to achieve your best work.
Personally, I’m very excited for this coming-
Oh God.
It got me.
Run.
Save yourselves.
While I am being put into quarantine, and
the City Council finds a means
other than complete
annihilation to bring an end
to the disease, I bring you
the weather.
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