LONDON CONTACTS’ JOKES PAGE
What do the Mafi a and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
If a man talks dirty to a woman, that’s sexual harassment.
If a woman talks dirty to a man, that’s £1.50 a minute!!!!!!
A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his un-holstered pistol
and yelled “I have a 45 calibre Colt 1911 with a seven round
magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who has
been sleeping with my wife?”
A voice from the back of the room called out “You need more
ammo!”
Why did God make cum white and urine yellow?
So men can tell whether they ar cumming or going.
What have spaghetti and women got in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Why are Cowgirls bow-legged?
Because Cowboys like to eat with their hats on
“A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then
stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make
amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he
asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed
this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”
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