M AY / J U N E 2 0 1 5
25
On Their Own
Helping a relative who is newly alone
by Lisa M. Petsche, Staff Writer
When the loved one they have
been living with passes away,
many older adults face the challenge of learning to live alone –
often for the first time.
If there was a division of labor
with their partner, the person
must either learn new life skills –
cooking, for example – or obtain
help. If the deceased spouse was
the more physically or mentally
able of the pair, living independently may pose special challenges.
If you have a parent or other
close relative who is new to living alone, here are some areas of
potential concern and tips on how
to help.
Medication Management. Request a medication review by your
relative’s primary physician to
determine if all medications being
taken remain necessary. Ask the
pharmacist about available aids for
remembering to take medications.
Nutrition. Set up a schedule to
take your relative grocery shopping. You might also arrange for
a grocery delivery service, stock
their freezer with heat-and-serve
foods or arrange for Meals on
Wheels visits. If the person finds
it hard to eat alone, look into
communal dining programs, and
invite them over to your home for
dinner sometimes.
Household Maintenance. Ar-
range for regular housecleaning
and, if applicable, yard maintenance. If your relative has limited
income, he may qualify for a
subsidized community program.
Consult the local office on aging,
an excellent source of information
on community services.
Transportation. If your relative
doesn’t drive (or shouldn’t), provide her with a bus pass or taxi gift
vouchers or investigate volunteer
driver programs for seniors. If
necessary, find out about local accessible transportation services.
Vision. Ask your relative’s
doctor for a referral to an ophthalmologist. If nothing can be
done to improve his vision, get
him a magnifier for reading small
print and check out other adaptive
items, such as a programmable
telephone with a large keypad and
a clock with oversized numbers.
Falls. Perform a safety assessment of your relative’s home to
identify potential hazards and do
what you can to rectify them. Visit
a medical supply store and check
out the many products that might
make daily activities easier and
safer. Sign up your relative with a
personal emergency response service. He will wear a lightweight,
waterproof pendant or bracelet
that has a button to press for crisis
assistance.
Finances. If money management is an issue, arrange for direct
deposit of pension checks and
automatic bill payment from your
relative’s bank account. Assist her
with contacting a lawyer to assign
power of attorney for property to
someone she trusts. If she is experiencing financial hardship living
solo, ensure she applies for all
possible government and private
benefits, such as survivor’s pensions and income supplements. If
necessary, assist her with taking
in a boarder or moving to a less
costly type of housing.
If your relative has cognitive
impairment and his partner was
compensating, deficits may now
be more pronounced or are apparent for the first time. If so, arrange
a geriatric assessment through
the person’s primary physician.
Research home supports such as
telephone reassurance services,
therapeutic day care programs and
home health services that offer
personal care, homemaking, nursing, dietary consultation, physical
and occupational therapy and
social work. A live-in caregiver is
another option if finances permit.
If your relative needs more help
than community programs can
provide and can’t afford privatepay services, options include moving them in with you or another
family member and finding a
residential care setting that meets
their needs.
If feelings of isolation and
loneliness are the main concern,
your relative may wish to consider
sharing accommodations with
a friend, relocating to an active
adult community or, if their health
is declining, moving to an assisted
living residence.
Li ̈́