MARCH/APRIL 2015
Friends of Caregivers
Can Help
10 ideas for providing support
by Lisa M. Petsche, Staff Writer
In approximately one quarter of
American households, care is provided to someone age 50-plus. In
most cases, family members and
friends provide all assistance.
These unpaid helpers enhance
the quality of life for ill older
people who might otherwise
require placement in a long-term
care facility. Typically, they are
spouses or offspring, and many
are seniors themselves. The loved
ones they care for have physical
or mental impairment (perhaps
both) caused by one or more
chronic health conditions, stroke
and dementia being most common.
The caregiving role involves
physical, psychological, emotional
and financial demands. It can also
be one of life’s most rewarding
experiences.
The caregiving journey is often
long, though, and particularly
challenging when the care receiver
has heavy hands-on needs, a demanding personality or mental
impairment. Burnout is common.
Here are 10 things that you, as
a friend or relative, can do to help
prevent a caregiver you know from
wearing down.
• Keep in touch. Accept that
you may have to make most of the
effort in maintaining the rela-
tionship. If you live at a distance
or otherwise can’t visit often,
regularly call to see how the
caregiver is doing. Send a card or
note to brighten their day; include
a humorous anecdote or cartoon
clipping.
• Educate yourself about the
care receiver’s disease to help you
understand the kinds of challenges the caregiver might be facing.
• Listen non-judgmentally,
demonstrate compassion and
don’t give unsolicited advice.
Provide words of support and
encouragement instead.
• Offer to accompany the
person to a caregiver support
group meeting if concurrent care
is available or he or she can make
in-home respite arrangements;
otherwise, offer to be the respite
provider so the caregiver can attend a meeting.
• Encourage the caregiver to
practice self-care by eating nutritiously, exercising and getting
sufficient rest in order to maintain
good health. Do whatever you
can to help make it possible. For
example, bring over a meal or offer
to sit with the care receiver while
the caregiver exercises or takes a
nap to catch up on lost sleep.
• Ask, rather than guess, what
kind of practical help is needed
most. Perhaps it’s dusting and
vacuuming, doing laundry or
13
running errands. If your assistance
is declined, continue to express
your desire to help. Meanwhile,
take it upon yourself to deliver
a casserole or muffins. If you’re
a neighbor, sweep both walks or
bring in both sets of garbage cans.
Encourage the caregiver to ask for
and accept help rather than go it
alone.
• Surprise the caregiver with a
treat, such as a magazine, a movie
or music CD, fresh flowers or a
plant, gourmet coffee or tea, or a
gift certificate to a favorite restaurant that has takeout and delivery
service.
• When it comes to special
occasions, keep in mind that the
most valuable gift you can give a
caregiver is the gift of time. Offer
to sit with the care receiver for an
hour while the caregiver goes to
a hair appointment or a religious
service, for example, or for a longer stretch so he or she can attend
a social event.
• If the caregiver is planning
to host a party or dinner, offer to
help with preparations or clean up
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• Offer to get information about
community support services if
none are in place, and encourage
their use as appropriate.
Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker
and a freelance writer specializing in
boomer and senior health matters.
She has personal and professional
experience with elder care.
If you live at
a distance or
otherwise can’t
visit often,
regularly call
to see how the
caregiver is
doing.
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