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like meeting in a public place and
not giving out your address,” said
Mosley.
If you are not used to technology, there are other routes to
dating.
“Find places where people
share your interests and values,
like church, a garden club or a
fishing group,” said Mosley.
Getting back into the dating
scene can be hard at first, but with
perseverance and by following
these tactics, you can find the love
you seek.
Returning to
Dating Scene
Know what works for
you in a relationship
by Jamie Lober, Staff Writer
Whether you are grieving,
recently divorced or have experienced a breakup, getting back into
the dating scene can be a challenge.
“A healthy relationship has to
start with having a healthy relationship with yourself,” said Chyrl
Mosley, life coach at Forward
First Coaching. Only then you are
ready to bring someone else into
the picture. “It is really important
to know yourself – what works for
you and what does not – and what
your needs and requirements are,”
said Mosley.
There are several dimensions to
a relationship. “In a relationship,
you have requirements, needs and
desires that are unambiguous and
nonnegotiable,” said Mosley.
Understanding how each of
these components applies to your
relationship can be helpful. “A
need is something a relationship
can live with and can be unmet
because you learn to negotiate and
have compromises in that area,”
Mosley said. “Requirements are
things that historically are nonnegotiable. When looking for a
partner, you need to explore and
define your own values and what
is important to you, as well as your
requirements.” Make certain the
person shares values and interests
with you. This is essential for creating a successful relationship.
Seniors have an advantage
in the dating game. “They have
had enough life experiences to
know themselves pretty well and
they have gotten past that place
where they feel obligated to fill
other people’s expectations,” said
Mosley.
But isolation may make finding
new romance difficult for seniors.
“The thing I notice with seniors is
that they tend to isolate themselves and make their pool or support system smaller and interrelate
in the world less,” said Mosley. “It
is important that seniors challenge
themselves to continue to participate in the world and in things
that they love.” This is beneficial
not just for dating but for everyday functioning. “I encourage
seniors to challenge themselves
intellectually and continue to feed
their mind, soul and spirit,” said
Mosley.
Technology can be an avenue
to the dating scene. “There are
senior dating Websites if you are
comfortable [with that],” Mosley
said. “I am a big believer in online
dating because we are busy people
with busy lives.” Websites will give
you plenty of options for finding
people from different walks of
life. But be careful when you set
up a date with someone you meet
online. “If you are going to meet
someone you have never met before, take the normal precautions,
A healthy
relationship has
to start with
having a healthy
relationship with
yourself.”
—Chyrl Mosley, life coach
at Forward First Coaching
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