You Are Never Alone
by Mark Thomas.
You are never alone. Four words that mean so
much, more than anyone that has never experi-
enced post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) could
ever know. How do I know this? Well I speak from
experience, as in February 2013, I was hospitalised
and diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety. I
was a shell of my former self. The husband, the
father, the son, the friend, the colleague, the police
officer, everything that I thought I knew about myself,
erased. It was and remains true to this day, the most
brutal, horrible, remarkable and fascinating experi-
ence I have ever been through.
I am lucky, extremely lucky, because I had a solid
base of support around me; I made an instant deci-
sion in hospital to never drink alcohol again; I had a
thirst for recovery techniques; I had a thirst to get my
life back and I had an inner drive to recover. I knew
that it was going to be (and still is) bloody hard work
with some truly horrible days, weeks and months,
but here I stand today, functioning relatively well and
leading somewhat of a normal life. As I said, I am
lucky, others are not. By no means do I say that
others don’t recover because they don’t work hard at
it, far from it, the dice fell my way, everything I tried,
worked. I am extremely lucky.
One of the first brutal lessons PTSD taught me was
that I felt intensely alone. I did not think that anyone
could ever feel like I was. The constant buzz or ding
on my phone alerting me that a message or an email
had arrived indicated otherwise, but my brain was
injured, severely injured and I could not equate the
positive supportive messages and emails to mean
that I was not alone. I knew there were many others
in the emergency services and military as well as
civilians that have PTSD but again, my brain would
not allow me to equate that.
I determined that I had to look forward to something
in the future to start the nurturing of my brain back to
how I wanted it to be. It was a scary and vulnerable
feeling and one that was completely foreign to me,
but at that stage when I looked at my future, it was
black, pitch black with nothing there. I wanted to start
a support group for police and emergency services
members with PTSD to show those that have it, that
they are, in fact not alone and never will be. I did not
want any of my first responder brothers and sisters
to feel the way that I was feeling and although I do
not feel like I did five years ago, I still vividly remem-
ber that feeling and it continues to drive me; drive me
to continue to recover and continue to support
others.
I kicked off the group when I got back to full time
work, some two and a half years after diagnoses.
From humble beginnings of 50 odd members which
consisted of my Facebook mates, primarily involved
in the Emergency Services, meeting once per month
in Melbourne, to nearly 2,000 Emergency Services
members and meetings in Melbourne, Geelong,
Gippsland, Bendigo and a few other spots soon to
kick off. It is fair to say that the group has grown and
the peer to peer support that is shown to one another
is brilliant. Mates helping mates. Brothers and
sisters standing side by side. People you do not
know and have never met brought together by the
one common thing – PTSD and a want and need to
support each other.
Three of our members have assistance dogs who
help the lads handle their anxiety and are just unbe-
lievably incredible to watch when they are working. I
have been with the men when they have been
triggered and the dogs have been trained to know
how to handle the anxiety attacks. The training of
these dogs is not a cheap operation. It takes approx-
imately 18 months to train and can cost in the vicinity
of $35,000 but they absolutely save lives, and from
where I stand, you can't put a price on that.
Thanks to a few civilians who are helping us achieve
our aim, we are well on the way to becoming a regis-
tered charity. Hopefully by the time this goes to print
I can say that I am the CEO of a health promotion
charity. My goals for this charity are twofold. Firstly,
our mission is to sponsor more assistance dogs so
that lives can be saved and improved. Secondly, we
will continue to offer social support so that other
members feel connected, reassured and never
alone. Your support is greatly appreciated. If you are
able to contribute, please do so by clicking the link
and following the instructions.
www.gofundme.com/code9ptsd
https://www.facebook.com/code9ptsd
(Edited by Rachel Russell)